Angelina Jolie Tackles War Rape

Fresh off of advocating for elective mastectomy, movie star/director/almost-wife of Brad Pitt, the biological father of three of her six children, Angelia Jolie is stepping forward to join the fight to demand a halt to sexual violence in war zones.

Until being bedded by the anti-war rape spokesperson, Brad Pitt was the husband of Jennifer Aniston.  Now, while his lover serves as special envoy for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees and makes comments about rape and war at events like special screenings at the U.N. University in Tokyo, Brad is the babysitter.

That aside, what would be interesting to hear from Ms. Jolie is how one goes about preventing rape in war zones.  Does one counsel the pillagers, or explain to them that rape is mean-spirited, or would threatening to perform surgery similar to what Jolie had, only much further down, do the trick?

Is Angelina Jolie’s ultimate goal to demand war without violence? How about kinder, gentler wars?  Or is it the hope that nice-looking Hollywood adulterers have the clout to convince wartime rapists to just stop it?

As part of a campaign launched with British Foreign Secretary William Hague, Jolie said that she’s hoping her first film as writer and director, In the Land of Blood and Honey, a fictional tale of a romance between a Bosnian Serb man and a Bosnian Muslim woman set during the 1990’s Balkans war, will motivate audiences to think about rape in war.

It’s a pity that Dutch journalist Dina Zakaria, prior to being raped by men who dub themselves revolutionists in Egypt’s Tahrir Square, didn’t get to speak with Angelina.  There’s a good chance that the actress could have given Dina pointers on how to get the assailants to think more humanely before they gang-raped her.

Moreover, whether it was Jolie’s indignant authoritative presence or the screening of her movie, either one might have also prevented a group of men from ripping off CBS reporter Lara Logan’s clothes and “raping her with their hands” when she was also sexually assaulted in Tahrir Square.

Referring to the UN urging sanctions against those who commit rape during armed conflict, Jolie said, “This is just a beginning. Our aim must be to shatter impunity, so that rape can no longer be used as a weapon of war anywhere in the world as it was in Bosnia, and as it is today from Congo to Syria.”

Earth to Angelina Jolie:  Rape is part of war!  It’s a symptom of the unredeemed sin nature and cannot be legislated out of existence.  In the Bible God speaks to the prophet Zechariah and warns him: “For I will gather all nations against Jerusalem to battle; and the city shall be taken, and the houses rifled, and the women ravished; and half of the city shall go forth into captivity [.]”

Premiere Of Weinstein Co. "Inglourious Basterds" - ArrivalsThe truth is that Angelina Jolie couldn’t even stop herself from sleeping with someone else’s husband, so how’s she going to figure out how to stop men from using rape as a “weapon of war?”

One thing’s for sure – if she manages to do that, maybe then she can turn her attention toward convincing mayoral hopeful Anthony Weiner to stop shooting iPhone pics of his penis and posting them on the Internet.

Angelina, who, bless her heart, means well, said:

When I started down the road, making this film, I thought only of telling a story and doing my best to try to give a voice to survivors. But today I am here not only as a director, but as a campaigner, and a part of a global effort that is growing every day.

Someone should inform Ms. Jolie that if a global effort could stop rape in a war zone, then a similar effort could also end war entirely and the subject at hand would no longer need to be discussed.

Moreover, there is one small incongruity that Angie should comment on, which is that there’s a good chance that when Jennifer Aniston’s husband Brad Pitt “started down the road, making [the] film” Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Jen was probably similarly enlightened after the fact, but in her case it was to the dangers of a leading lady seducing a married man.

Jolie, who’s been known to willingly comfort a man or two herself with sex, chose not to comment on the fact that Japan’s militaristic government, before and during World War II, forced women into prostitution and called it “comfort sex.”

Next, after a voluntary mastectomy, breast reconstruction, and her war on war rape, Jolie plans to have her ovaries removed in a bilateral oophorectomy.

It will be interesting to see how long after that surgery it will take for Ms. Jolie to make the connection that a similar operation for men could hold a simple solution not only for the Weiners of the world and nomadic husbands like Brad Pitt, but also solve the age-old problem of war rape once and for all.

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