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Too bad there’s no such thing as Mexican yogurt. 

After hearing that Michelle Obama is planning on taking some gastric tubing to any public school receiving government subsidies for free lunches and forcing thick, protein-laden Greek yogurt through it, it got me thinking. If Greek illegals aren’t obese, and Mexican illegals are, why would Mamá Obama insist on feeding Greek yogurt to fat illegal Mexican kids occupying seats in our public schools?

We now know that Mexico is fatter than the US. With her broccoli-loving husband pushing for amnesty and beckoning the chicos and chicas to race over the border, “Let’s Move,” wait – “Vamos a Pasar” Michelle certainly has her work cut out for her.

According to a UN report, 70% of Mexican adults are corpulent, one-third of Mexican teenagers are obese, and childhood obesity in Mexico has tripled in the past decade. There are 70,000 weight-related diabetes-caused deaths in Mexico per year and 400,000 new cases of diabetes annually.

That means with Mrs. Obama’s husband pushing for amnesty and the border remaining wide open, lots more chubby DREAM actors will be trekking up the free-stuff highway into the US looking for grub.

The good news for Mexico’s healthcare system is that conservative guesstimations say that 11 million illegals are already here, and more realistic guesstimations put that number at about 30 million. So it could be that 33% of those obese Mexicans are part of that 30 million who’ve mustered up the energy to overrun America.

Among those indomitable invaders are probably muffin-topped Mexican illegals who, along with other ethnicities, are currently on the pathway to citizenship.  And if they are, illegal adipose of the Mexican persuasion will be taking up a lot of space in those soon-to-be overcrowded Obamacare health clinics.

As for Mexican illegals already here, they are well aware that Mamá Obama is policing food choice more stringently than her husband polices the border. So now is the perfect time to beckon plump family members who are migrating from rural to urban Mexico to get a little exercise and keep moving north.

In the meantime, seeing as there’s no such thing as Mexican yogurt, to deal with the gut glut about to befall America maybe Michelle can tie public school lunch program subsidies to mixing up Greek yogurt with the guacamole.

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