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Who knew you’ve been ruining the lives of your children by your Christmas gifts?

To avoid making any gift faux paus this year, Liberals instruct us on how to buy the right gift! By “right,” I mean “politically correct” gift.

Here are a few old school, dare I say “conservative” gifts that made the naughty list:

  • Toy Army men:  these promote aggression, and lead to abusing women later in life.

  • Gingerbread men:  they are sexist, offend LGBTs and PETA.  They need to be genderless, organic and vegan.

  • Any and all things princess:  Princess denotes sexism and promotes superficial values for girls.

  • Pink science and construction type toys:  Pink tells  girls they’re not “competent.” Pink science and construction toys might stop  them from getting a job in these areas in the future.

  • Barbie is still offensive.  The new, anatomically average Barbie is still off the gift giving list because she’s still too pretty. They have given Barbie acne and stretch marks, and feminists are still complaining.

In the mean time, someone must find Christmas inflatable decorations terribly offensive.

Liberals even have a tip when buying a gift for a man:  avoid anything beer related.

The author of “Secret Santa sexism: why are we so keen to reinforce gender roles for adults at Christmas?” states buying beer-related items tells men they are “nothing more than a “blank-faced man who likes booze and crap jokes.”

How about knitting him a shawl?

Unless that shawl is koozy for a beer, no real man will take it. Why not throw in some pink “tighty-whiteys” and get him a gift certificate for a waxing, while you’re at it?


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