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Iraq’s Wild Pigs Get Even With ISIS in Turf War

Talk about your serious halal irony. Iraq’s lowliest take revenge on ISIS fighters for their invasion of Iraq, compliments of enraged Iraqi pigs.

Kirkuk’s people may submit to ISIS rule without a fight, but their pigs have had enough.

Sheikh Anwar al-Assi, leader of anti-ISIS forces in the area revealed militants were hiding on the edge of a field, waiting to attack local tribesmen. The boars overwhelmed them on Sunday, killing three, and injuring five.

In the three days before the pig stampede, Al-Assi said the militants summarily executed 25 people attempting to flee ISIS’ reign of terror.

“We know that a massacre [of Iraqis] took place in Hawija district through our sources,” al-Assi told the Times. “This will not be ISIS’s last massacre against citizens.”

Apparently, the boars didn’t take too kindly to ISIS entering their turf.

According to Iraqi News, the jihadists tried to remove feral boars known to inhabit farmland areas in Kirkuk when they were literally cut down.

Wild Pigs Get EvenPrecisely how the militants died remains unclear. I’m guessing “death by razor sharp boar tusks”?

The terror group captured Kirkuk in 2014. Upon the arrival of ISIS to dominance in Kirkuk, thousands of civilians fled to refugee camps. To stave off cooperation with Iraq’s security forces, ISIS militants are said to hold regular civilian executions.

From time to time captives escape, and ISIS attempts to round them up in the boar-occupied region of the country.

As the insurgents have found, Iraq’s pigs are no Obamas!

Defiled by the charge of the Pork Brigade.

Are the boars new recruits of General “Mad Dog” Mattis’? Or is this one of those unpredictable Donald Trump moves?campaign to terrorize the terrorist’s rampage across the Middle East.

Regardless, based on the outcome perhaps it’s time to let the pigs run wild all across Iraq and Syria. They are far less expensive than military ordnance and make for a great MRE (meal) in a pinch.

Don’t be surprised if the Iraqi government, currently engaged in a six-month-long campaign to retake Mosul, enlists a few pigs to battle ISIS. Remember what happened when the Israelis employed the tactic?

The government decided to put bags of pig lard on each bus to deter suicide bombings on Israeli buses. It’s worked fairly well.

 



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