The Dark Age of X-Mas

Once upon a time there was a Santa Claus who happened to be white. Nobody really thought about Santa Claus being white, just that he brought joy to all the boys and girls all over the world.  But then these mean people called Progressive Liberal Utopians (Plutopians) decided that the world needed changing, since White Santa neglected the little Jews and Muslims, and his practices oppressed minority children.  The time had come for a politically correct Black Santa.

Though Black Santa’s resume was light, it was said he would bring even more joy to the world…the entire world.  The people loved Black Santa, because he was not portly and rotund like White Santa; Black Santa was tall and lean, dare I say sexy. Black Santa began his tenure traveling the world apologizing for White Santa’s oppression of them.

Black Santa was an idealist, and he promised people whatever they wanted. In the land of Black Santa, unicorns poop butterflies and cough rainbows, and there is no need for money. You just wish upon a black star.

Black Santa created a world where Christmas was free of the shackles of religious significance, and thus be deemed, “The Holiday Season of X-mas.” X-mas now meant the redistribution of toys from others to all black boys and girls by Black Santa.  America had entered the “Dark Ages of X-Mas.”

The first X-mas of Black Santa was uneventful, as “It’s White Santa’s Fault.” Black Santa used White Santa’s lame duck period to assess the operation and make his recommendations.  Black Santa had a year to contemplate how to “pay that woman’s rent and car note,” and implement the change the North Pole would need.

Though there was no budget or need, Black Santa hired 41 new black elves and he called them Santa’s Black Caucus. Santa’s Black Caucus bickered a lot, and were constantly asking for more.  They demanded that all toys be white, and wanted reparations, saying “White chirrens got more toys than black chirrens in the past, and this must be corrected.”

Santa’s Black Caucus wasn’t his only issue, as the environmentalists demanded that Black Santa implement green policies at the factory, demanding the use of solar and wind power to replace fossil fuels.  This policy led to black outs at the factory.

Black Santa’s operation hit hard times, and he was forced to make cut backs.  Black Santa made the working conditions untenable for the original hardworking elves, so they all quit and were ineligible for unemployment benefits.

The second X-mas was even worse.  Santa had no solution for reviving the factory, though he talked a good game.  Black Santa held lots of meetings constantly taking the sled all over the country for “listening tours.” The reindeer complained about their increased work load, citing that Black Santa took ten times more vacations than White Santa.  Word at the Pole was that Black Santa was lazy.

The white elves had transitioned to capitalism, running “White Market” businesses where they imported most of their goods from China.  This significantly impacted the toy trade, and put a serious dent in Black Santa’s now almost non-existent supply-chain.

Black boys and girls began grumbling that they were getting less from Black Santa, than they got from White Santa.

Year Three was by far the worst.  Now the white elves were dominating production, finding new markets abroad. Previous believers in Black Santa were getting their goods from the elves.  Black Santa had created record unemployment (34 straight months of unemployment above 8%), record deficits ($15T+), and record spending with nothing to show for it. Then there was that snafu of delivering the $10M drone to the wrong recipient.  It was evident to most that Black Santa was in way over his head.

White Santa was at a BET Awards ceremony, where he commented:

“I’m shocked at the incompetence of Black Santa.  In all my years of being Santa, we never missed a single gift, and the gifts were delivered on time, and not on CPT. This latest incident of delivering a $10M gift to a hostile foreign nation is beyond the pale. I think somebody needs to look into that. And don’t even get me started on the weapons delivered to those Mexican bandidos. Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind up in here!”

With no toy manufacturing in the North Pole, Black Santa was forced to go straight up gangsta, stealing toys. Black Santa issues executive orders that essentially allowed union thugs to just take toys of the white elves trucks straight to flea markets.

Black Santa’s Justice Elf Holder said that anybody stopping black drivers and asking for proper ID would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

It seems nothing is working, and the factory has all but shut down.  Black Santa has been forced to lay off the Black elves. The good news is they still get full pay and benefits.

Tune in next year for what will be the final year of The Dark Age of X-Mas…

That’s my rant!

© 2011 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Obama’s Biggest Secret

It is common knowledge that we know very little about Barack Obama. He came out of nowhere. If you decide to dig into his history—or lack thereof—it just gets more weird.

Most people believe that Obama may be hiding his country of birth or perhaps his grades. Others believe Obama’s past may reveal something even more sinister, like he’s the Manchurian candidate hell bent on the destruction of America.  There is even speculation that Obama may swing both ways, and he’s practicing political Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

All good theories; but none reveals Obama’s biggest skeleton in the closet.

Obama doesn’t have many true friends, so he has come to dote on family.   Toots, Uncle Onyango, Aunt Zeituni, Michelle, his daughters and his mother-in-law have all benefitted from Barack.  Barack believes in nepotism and therein lies the hint of what is potentially Obama’s biggest scandal.

You might be thinking about Barack having put Michelle Obama in charge of thinning the American herd of fatties.  Giving Michelle a job justifies her 22-person, multi-million dollar entourage, and her many taxpayer funded boondoggles.  Obama listed his daughters as “senior staff” for their African jaunt, which included uncles, aunts, and cousins.  Egregious acts by anybody’s standards; however mere pittances for what Obama has done to us under our very noses.

But here is the real scoop. Like Reverend Jesse Jackson, Obama’s biggest secret is he fathered a love child.  And as salacious as this revelation may be, the plot thickens, because Obama’s love child is white.

You need to understand that Obama came out of nowhere, because he is a jumper—a person who travels through time. Like vampires, jumpers have been around for eons. They jump through the fabric of time messing things up.

Think about it.  Obama has NO friends from his past who remember him from college, and there are only eight photos of the guy on all of Google prior to him entering government.  Don’t believe me, Google it.  The picture in the park with him grandparents, one or two with his mom, one or two with his supposed dad, and then the one where he’s smoking cigarettes.  That about it.  Pictures of Obama are more rare a black Republican.

Obama has no real work history either. Who graduates from Harvard with a Juris Doctorate degree, president of Law Review, supposedly Magna Cum Laude and goes to work as a community organizer? Only somebody with felonies. This is how I know Obama is a jumper.

When Obama appointed Biden as Vice President, many of us were scratching our head.  Biden is a dolt of the highest order. How could somebody supposedly so brilliant as Obama is said to be, choose somebody so stupid to be his number two? You wouldn’t.

Unless Biden is Obama KID! To quote the first black Vice President, “This is a big f’g deal!”

It’s actually a brilliant strategy for Obama to make his progeny VP, because it would take somebody really clever to figure it out.  Yes there were hints that Biden is a carrier of Obama genes, but we missed them. All the while we believed Biden to be the “elder statesman,” since Obama appears to be younger than Biden. But when you realize that Obama is a jumper, it all suddenly makes sense, doesn’t it?

What president wouldn’t have thrown Biden under the bus by now, if Biden weren’t family?

Biden behaves like a precocious 3-year old in the checkout lane with Mommy. He says things like, “Mommy said she gonna kill daddy if he doesn’t stop screwing Mrs Crenshaw.”

Who says that another person would be a better choice for VP, as Biden said of Hillary? And in speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009 Biden said this:

“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”

Really?  If Biden and Papa O know the future, they still have a 30% chance they will screw it up? Apparently hindsight isn’t 20/20 for the O’Bidens.

Now that you know the truth, you realize that Biden got that “Gaffe Gene” from Barack. Obama’s selection of Biden was a way to keep Biden close; Obama and Biden were protecting the family secret.

Now the real question is who is Biden’s real mother?  Let’s just say that Obama is keeping her close as well, just in case Biden needs to breastfed at 3A in the morning.

That’s my rant!

© 2011 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved

I’m going to tell you what the State Department won’t tell you. The fact is that America is late on its payments to China. China tried calling Obama, many times.  Obama quit answering the phone, the way all people running from creditors do. Barack has been “call screening.” So when “China” popped up on the LCD of the White House phone, Michelle looked and yelled, “Barack!  It’s for you…it’s China!”

Don’t answer it, Michelle!

Hu was pissed. Mrs. Hu, who reminded him, “Remember I ah tol ah yu what happened when we loana that otha Aflican dictata money…he neva pay back!”

To assuage his wife, Hu replied, “But Balack, he so light-skinned. Elything will be ah OK!”

But everything was not ok, which is why Hu got his butt on a plane and decided to check on the pimp he put in charge of his money, Obama, as well as the “prostitutes,” who were the collateral, the American taxpayers.

Obama was shocked to see Hu. Hu caught him in the middle of one of the Obamas’ famous “House Parties,” spending China’s money like a sailor on leave.

Obama turned the music off, dismissed the Congressional Black Caucus, the New Black Panther Party, Chavez, Ahmedinejad, Bill Ayers, The Uni-Bomber, and Osama, who’d flown in earlier for a secret meeting and photo op.”

The White House now quiet, Obama begged Hu for an extension of America’s credit.

“Uh, look here Hu…uh, I just don’t have it right now…I can git you the money, Man!”

Hu wanted an update, a strategy. Hu knows that the American economy is not good news. He can see that not much is being done to protect his investment. As he was driven around DC in his limo earlier, Hu could see that the prostitutes all looked rode hard and put up wet.

Obama said to Hu,

“Well Hu, I did a campaign stop in Arizona, a state that we are threatening, uh, because they are not allowing more prostitutes in from Mexico.  Uh… we intend to uh… keep the pressure on for an even more uh… ignorant populace than we currently have.”

Hu approved, saying

“Balack, I am velly happy you al a moving in the dilection of communism. I a also happy that you ah cleative in violation of you citizens’ a human lights!” {Both men chuckle}

Truth be told, Hu was not happy.  He had loaned money to America, not knowing that there would be a rookie at the helm. Hu thought privately,

“Holy Geolge Bush! When I loan money to Amelica, it was to a white businessman. And now you give me a blacka community olganiza?

So Hu wanted to meet with Congress to find out why the bait and switch. In advance of that meeting, one lamestream media headline read, “Hu to Face Critics on Capitol Hill.” Critics of what?

The Chinese economy grew by over 9% in 2009 and over 10% in 2010.  I searched the internet high and low to find information on how well the U.S. economy fared in 2009 and 2010, and I can only guess that this information is either in Al Gore’s lock box or in the same bunker where Obama’s birth certificate and school transcripts are kept.  You can’t find scratch about this subject in terms of percentage growth or shrinkage of the U.S. economy.

The U.S. Federal Government report for 2009 published Feb 2010 is 458 pages long and should have been titled, “It’s Bush’s Fault.” I suspect when we get the 2010 report it will just say, “See 2009.”

Suffice it to say, our economy was off like a herd of turtles, since the selection of Obama.  After pumping $1.4 trillion dollars into our economy for stimulus and to save homes and create jobs, over 1 million homes were foreclosed in 2010. The carryover of Obama’s policies has put 5 million homes on the precipice of foreclosure in 2011. There are no jobs, unless you are a migrant farm worker, a waiter, or a cashier.

How many homes could Obama have saved or jobs created if he hadn’t taken FLOTUS on flamboyant date nights? And who needs date night, when you take a vacation every month?!

What about Michelle O’s trip to Spain, and the happy couple’s most recent jaunt to Hawaii; oh excuse me, that was a “working vacation.”  Remind me of the cost to redecorate the White House, anybody remember the cost of his inauguration, more than any in history? Is it even possible to calculate the interest on a debt of $1.4T?
Finally, how about the $192M spent on SIGNS bragging about the stimulus money he stole from us?

Yet we are talking everything but Obama’s reckless spending and ruining of the economy. Obama is acting crazier than a sprayed roach, and Liberals want civility. Not as long as there are more roaches.

I don’t think Hu wants civility. I suggest the Tea Party approach the Chinese with the idea of how we plan on getting them their money back. Pay us to watch out for their investment. That would be money well spent.

The Democrats won’t be civil in 2012, when they will once again be calling the majority of Americans racists, homophobes, intolerant to something wholly anti-American. Don’t forget how sick it felt for most of us in Nov of 2008, and how uncivilized we were treated for the last 2 years!

If we don’t change this in 2012, expect to see bumper stickers that read:  My yuan can beat up your dollar!

That’s my rant!

© 2011 – Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved

So the military, the people who protect the nation can’t choose who they want,  because gays got their win with the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  Now they can be openly gay. What exactly is openly gay anyway?

Gays are individuals, not defined by their sexuality—at least not the smart ones. So there is a wide spectrum to being gay.

When I think of being openly gay, I think about the black folks who say to me that I don’t “act black.” Sure I do. I am openly black, but being black doesn’t define me. Being American does, as does being human.

I believe that most gays in the military could care less about exposing their sexuality and are content to just do their jobs. I say this, because I don’t walk through life being black.

Unlike Hollywood where being gay or bi considered a la mode, the job of the military is to create military ‘personnel,’ regardless of sexual orientation, ethnicity, creed, or whatever. Black soldiers are not walking around saying, “I’m a black Colonel.” All the military cares about is the “Colonel” part; truth be told, the military is more concerned with one’s competence. The same would be true of “gays,” as most military men and women don’t care what type of sex[1] another soldier is having, as long as that sex doesn’t infringe on them.

I suspect that the military has a much better “gaydar” than gays think. Their peers either know who is gay in the military or they have their suspicions. There are high ranking gays in the military now. The woman who filed the suit to repeal DADT is a retired Colonel, I believe. I’d be willing to bet you that most of the people who promoted her already knew she had her penchant for the ladies.[2] Her gayness apparently didn’t negatively affect her career. It would appear that the only people who were concerned about her gayness was her.

So what Liberals have done for the military is what they have been doing to all of America for decades; infecting the military with cancer. Soon promotions will be measured by how many “gays” we have at a certain rank, or “I didn’t get this promotion or billet, because I am gay.” Gays will require their own facilities, and they could end up where black people were in the ‘40’s…segregated.

What’s interesting about DADT when compared to blacks being in the military is that blacks had to endure a very different form of discrimination. Discrimination against blacks was called “Don’t Ask, We Already Know.”

Blacks have been discriminated in the military for decades. Be it military or civilian, with rare exception,[3] people already knew who the blacks were in the military. Yet somehow in what Liberals believe is the most racist country in the world with the most heinous military, blacks managed to get a black Commander in Chief[4], and a black Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.[5]

It has been argued to me that DADT is needed so that gay military personnel could invite their significant others to events. Not true. Gay military personnel could have appeared with their same sex partners, and under DADT nobody could question either of them. It was just two buddies hanging out, or “girl’s night out” as far as DADT regulations were concerned.

But don’t expect bases to look like the Mission District of San Francisco, because as for showing affection towards one’s “partner,” PDA[6] is forbidden by everybody, gay or straight. No fraternization or ‘sororitization’ either.

I’m not sure what this new development will do to morale within the military. I do believe that there will be an “us versus them” mentality amongst homosexuals, which cannot be good for anybody, especially the military.

The military who is supposed to protect us now has become a victim of the Liberal agenda. Go ahead; declare your open gayness, whatever that means. But don’t expect the military to act according to the gay agenda like the civilian world.

Legislating based on sexual proclivity is wrong. Few jobs require knowledge of one’s sexual nature, and most that do are located near Hollywood. Repeal of DADT is just the Liberals’ way of attacking an institution, an institution that was not discriminating against gays.  The military is like Hollywood, in that they have a set of guidelines they felt made them more effective.

Turnabout is fair play, however. I say we attack their institutions—the media, Hollywood, Academia. Let’s sue them for discriminating against Conservatives, straights, Republicans…those are creeds!

Let’s show Liberals that we really understand the art of war.

That’s my rant!

Kevin Jackson is author of The BIG Black Lie and The Black Sphere blog.

[2] Licker License

[3] There were a handful of blacks who could ‘pass’ as white.

[4] He’s still a sissy

[5] Colin Powell

[6] Public Display of Affection

Kevin Jackson is author of Amazon best-selling book The BIG Black Lie, the funniest political book EVER!

If you need evidence that we are indeed in a post-racial America, I have it.

In a conversation with one of my friends and business partners about his son, a teenager and gifted basketball athlete, the subject of what the boy wanted to be when he grows up came up.  Tom’s son answered that he wanted to be a Harlem Globetrotter.

Talk about high aspirations.  In fact too high…for a white kid!

In a time when America has a black president, a white kid can’t realistically dream of being Harlem Globetrotters.

Not to racially profile, but there is no way a white kid can dribble like Curly Neel, or fire off a hook shot like Meadowlark Lemmon, the Clown Prince of Basketball.

If the Harlem Globetrotters did allow a white guy on the team, he would surely be a token, a product of Affirmative Action for white folks. No self-respecting white man would want that stigma, now would he?

But let’s say for a moment that Tom’s kid is the second-coming of Dr. J, some dreams are just too big for America’s white kids, because white kids can’t belong to black organizations. That’s just not right.

Perhaps there is a glimmer of hope, as Street Ball, (AND1), allowed a white kid, nicknamed “The Professor” to play on one of their teams.

To his credit, The Professor has mad basketball skills and can hoop with the big dawgs—a serious baller.  To my knowledge, The Professor remains the only white guy on AND1, and for all intents and purposes, The Professor is really just a black kid trapped in the body of a fish-belly white kid. He may very well be an albino, because he plays too well to be white.

The Professor talks like a black guy, walks like a black guy, I bet he even has a black girlfriend.  I suggest to you that The Professor is more black than 99% of black folks, and more comfortable around black people than Barack Obama. In other words, the jury is still deliberating on The Professor’s true ethnicity.

Tom’s kid, well he talks and acts “white,” except for his basketball skills, which are most definitely “black.” A real conundrum; and being honest, I’m not sure how to counsel my friend.

Nevertheless, this idea of these white kids not “living their dreams” got me to thinking, “To what should white kids in America today aspire? The answer was really simple, as plain as the nose on my black face: White kids should just aspire to be black!

I suggested to Tom that he allow his son to be adopted by a black family, who would raise the kid to be black.  It would be like that movie The Blind Side where a rich white woman, Sandra Bullock takes in the poor homeless black kid, and raises him. The black kid goes on to play professional football, and get a movie made about his life.

Tom’s kid deserves a chance too. So in the spirit of equal and opposite, Tom’s son should be raised by a poor black family, so he can realize his dream.  Think of it as poor black people’s way of giving back to the white youth of America.

Being black would certainly make things much easier on Tom’s son. Expectations would be a lot less, as there would be built-in excuses for his failure. If white kids are raised black, they could join all the black groups that exist for minority students.  Student unions remind minority kids of their ethnicity, just in case they don’t have parents around as reminders.

Black groups are needed, as they perform a medicinal purpose, allowing black kids to discriminate without being discriminatory, and all white kids need to learn how to discriminate—practice for the future. Because after college, the next rite of passage for our white adoptee is for him to join the NAACP!

Without declaring “black,” he simply cannot join the NAACP at least not without being a guilty token. As a guilty token he could become chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus. Tom could be proud that his kid put “hope in his brain, and not dope in his brain.”

With the advances in DNA, I suggest that Tom’s kid declare himself black, based on the “one drop” rule. It has certainly helped Obama, given that he is considered black, when in fact he is more white than black and acts far more white than black. Take away Michelle Obama, and Obama is a just a black man trying to pass.

The ruse of the Utopians has lowered white kids’ aspirations. Instead of aspiring to be president, white kids now want to be members of the Harlem Globetrotters, well at least one.

Even more telling is that white kids likely won’t see the position of president as a “big deal,” given the performance of the present occupant—no role model there. Perhaps Tom’s son is a just a product of his political coming of age.

Perhaps Tom should just get a lawyer, and threaten to sue the Harlem Globetrotters so his kid could pursue his dream. Such a strategy might bring Sharpton and Jackson from under their rocks to debate the new post-racial America.

That’s my rant!

© Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Being a political junkie, I was interested to get my fix. Yes politics is my drug of choice.

The event was advertised as “A Peaceful Discourse on the Subject of Politics – We welcome differing views.”

I thought to myself,

“Yeah right! And streets named after MLK are the safest streets in America!”

My grandmother didn’t raise no fool! Anything that has to be advertised as “peaceful” has the potential to be violent.

But I am not a punk, so I decided to go, as I felt the ideas they would espouse would be “experimental drugs” and would sate my need for the “hard stuff” — you know, post-election fallout of the shellacking our first half-black president, and the people who support him.

As I prepared to go, I “shot up” on my facts, reviewing Unfounded Loyalty, by Dr. Wayne Perryman, a book that was a revelation on how Blacks have been shafted by Democrats for years.

I reviewed Timelines of African American History, so I wouldn’t get the shakes during the event, and would be properly armed with information on Black Republicans throughout history.

The message coursed through my mind:

Republicans, GOOD – Party of Lincoln, freed the slaves, Civil Rights Acts of 1875, 1960, 1964, started Historically Black Colleges. We WON!

Democrats BAD – Jim Crow laws, poll taxes, high taxes, lynchings, George Wallace, Senator Byrd, KKK, racists. Democrats got what has been long overdue.

My head was spinning; I was tripping, pupils dilated. I was ready to go.

I hid an extra hits, bringing the book 1001 Things Everyone Should Know About African American History, and other stash. That would be enough for me to share with other junkies, should I make a few converts and feel magnanimous. I was willing to share my “stuff.”

Into my cousin’s car I slid, careful to conceal my stash. My sunglasses hid my dilated pupils and glazed over eyeballs. I wondered why we were taking his hoop-t, and not my Acura, but I was in no condition to drive, Man.

Being a Democrat, my cousin would undoubtedly hit me up for gas- a textbook black Democrat ploy. I would be ready!

There it was, only one mile in and the gas light lit up.

“Yo Cuz, spot me twenty, til I see you again? I need to get that petro,” he extorted.

I inwardly chuckle,

“Suckerrrrr! Haha, only $20! I had $50 on me and you left $30 on the table.”

Fully gassed, we headed off to the event.

Left on Russell to Grand. Left on Grand. Two miles…wait a minute, check cashing place, self-serve car wash, liquor store, Chinese restaurant, bail bond, Chinese restaurant, Quik-Trip gas station, liquor store…wait a minute, hmmm…Chinese restaurant, Korean dry cleaner, check cashing place, bail bond, massage parlor [mental note], liquor store, Del Taco, White Castle!

Wait a minute! “This is not the place where we are supposed to be going“, I shout.

It was too late.

We arrive at his destination, where I find other members of my family sitting there, teary eyed, with their letters, notepads and hankerchiefs. There is a guy I don’t know, who says to me,

“Kevin, your family is here because they all love you,”

I glance around the room to see everyone nodding and trying to smile, behind the tears.

The stranger continues,

“Your family members are going to say a few things to you, then you can say a few things, then you are free to go.”

I was at a Black Republican intervention!!!

So my older sister is first to go, and she says to me,

“…Kevin…I’ve watch you for the past 37 years, since you were eight years old, do this to yourself [pause, wipe tear] and I can’t take it anymore. If you insist on being a Black Republican, then I will have no choice but to continue to ask you for money, that I will never repay. And I will continue to show up unannounced at your home, and eat all your food, never bringing a dish. And I will ask you to watch my kids for a minute, only to stay away the entire day, regardless of your plans.  But if you take this gift, and it’s a gift of love, that we are offering you today only…and go to ‘Rehab for Black Republicans’, [intentional run-on sentence, for you purist] and get the help you need, so you will no longer keep asking me for the money back, that you loaned me and instead consider it the gift that it needed to be, though I did ask for a loan, because you have the money, and it wasn’t like you would miss it anyway, and stop being ‘perturbed’ because I won’t stop to buy Cokes on the way to your house for dinner…anyway, take the gift!“, she implored, yes begged of me.

Next was my cousin, then an uncle, and an aunt, putting me in psychedelic haze.

They were ruining my buzz, and I began shouting uncontrollably things like, “reparations, and…Jesse Jackson, and love child, Bill Clinton wears Al Sharpton wigs, US of KKKA, Oprah, socialism, raise my taxes, Madonna loves Bush…” [pardon the double entendre!]

I began speaking in tongues, and with Turrets, saying repeatedly,

“Mattel an’ Mimosa: Tepatated at Bird”

[Translated: Michelle and Amarosa separated at birth].

Then somebody slapped me…

I went to rehab, and toed the line for 32 days.

But they found my copy of Black Puritan, Black Republican: The Life and Thought of Lemuel Haynes, 1753-1833 by John Saillant, and they kicked me out.

I haven’t been clean since.

That’s my rant!

© 2010 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Hill did provide clarification to his statement that Christie was too fat, adding, “for a politician.”

I’m not an associate professor at Columbia, but isn’t a governor a politician? I guess New Jerseyans overlooked Christie’s girth, when electing him governor.

One thing is for sure; Christie may not be too fat to be a Columbia associate professor, but he’s definitely too smart.

Since when do politicians need the body of a Chippendale dancer to get elected?

Aside from Hill’s obvious stupidity on what constitutes being a politician and his disdain for those who enjoy super-sizing their meals, I believe there may be more to this. Hill has inadvertently exposed the Leftist political caste system; an invisible ceiling for chubbies? Are chubbies really not allowed to ascend to the ultimate political throne, to be leaders of the free world because of their weight?

This wouldn’t be the first time Democrats imposed glass ceilings.  Case in point:  Three recent full black presidential candidates.

Alan Keyes may be a handsome man, but he is decidedly darker than Barack Obama. I have said it before, but if Barack Obama switched bodies with Alan Keyes, Barack would not be president today. For the “Harry Reid bunch,” Keyes is simply too “dark-skinned” to be president.

It doesn’t end there, however.

If Barack Obama talked like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton, he would not be president. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself why neither of those two presidential candidates ever made it to the Oval Office, but the “light-skin with no Negro dialect” did?

Click to expand
Resource: www.Accredited Online Colleges.org and more

Both Sharpton and Jackson were given “token” votes, but neither ever had a real chance at being president, at least not of the United States. Jackson talks like he has marbles in his mouth, and is in no way “articulate.” I don’t suspect that the Left finds either of them necessarily clean.

I do suspect that both Jackson and Sharpton are capable of getting Bill Clinton coffee, particularly if Clinton attended their black churches…during a campaign, of course.  Because Clinton wouldn’t be caught dead in a black church unless there is something to be gained politically.

Howard Dean alluded that Jackson or Sharpton could be part of the “wait staff,” but only if Joe Biden is allowed to lecture them on the safety of wearing condoms, so black people could quit spreading AIDS.

If you are a certain “type” of black, Liberals have specific roles for you.  House Negroes. Like the 41 members of the House who form the Congressional Black Caucus of 2010. For Liberals, dark, inarticulate blacks can only be House members, but not Senate members. Dark inarticulate blacks are too uncouth, too “unclean.”

When Burris was carried across the color line in the Senate by Blago, Reid made sure that Burris would not run again. I suspect Burris had other physical issues that didn’t cotton well with Reid and other Democrat Liberals.  Burris is a funny-looking little man, with a tendency to talk in a rambling version of the Negro dialect.

As for Christy, he apparently earned the scorn of Hill and other Lefty chubby haters by simply being qualified and effective. Lefties prefer ignorant, do-nothing leaders, regardless of color. You must believe in things like global climate change and welfare as stimulus. Be as looney as you’d like, just don’t be fat!

Here’s the wrap:

The Lefties would like to tell us who is fit to lead the nation, pardon the pun. If you don’t look the part, how could you possibly be effective? A skinny leader, even if he has no experience will always outperform a chubby one with a proven track record. That’s just Liberal physics!

The Left’s “stylish” leader certainly cost them the most recent election. James Carville said in his last book that Republicans would be wandering in the wilderness for 40 years; the Republican Party was doomed. The Left had found their skinny messiah, and he had insured Democrat victories for decades. Eviction 2010 proved otherwise.

Lefty logic notwithstanding, the Right sees Christie for who he is:  An effective, no-nonsense leader.  That’s all the Right requires.  We don’t need a leader for “show.”

I suspect that Christie only needs to become a Democrat in order for his chubbiness not to matter?

GOTCHA!

When it comes to passing the physical tests for the Left, it’s style over substance every time. Just like with Columbia associate professor Marc Lamont Hill—Liberal hip-hop hack. But at least he’s not fat!

That’s my rant!

© 2010 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved

A while back, I had a blog on that bastion of irrelevance call MySpace. I planned to turn that electronic documentation of my painful descent toward mediocrity into a memoir.  Mediocrity achieved, I’ve since removed it.

Had you read it, you would have seen a person who made her first ever campaign contribution to John McCain, become a fervent, if incoherent and inconsistent Obama supporter.

Don’t worry, I didn’t vote for him. I didn’t contribute money or time to his campaign, either. My support consisted of getting into arguments with the couple of openly racist persons in my life and posting the equivalent of “OMG, Obama is, like, tha bomb, yall!” to my blog. I am fairly sure my enthusiasm swayed no one. Nevertheless, I feel I owe the universe an apology and an explanation.

The main theme of my MySpace blog was pain. Back then, I was falling a lot, my brain felt like 5 lbs of cotton candy, and I was in constant agony.

After a series of tests to rule out things like multiple sclerosis, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia syndrome, or FMS. You probably know a little about FMS from drug ads on TV. I assure you they do not do it justice, and that the side effects list is a joke.

May cause sympathy to leftism and susceptibility to nonsensical sayings like “Hope and Change!

I was on five different medications to combat my various symptoms. Several of them together cause fatigue (in addition to the standard FMS fatigue) and hallucinations. I would see wisps of smoke, flashes of electricity, and oddly, hamsters.

I also saw Obama and, after a while, found him a likable guy. I thought he was intelligent, with a bit of eloquence, though I completely failed to see the teleprompters during his DNC acceptance speech. If you thought that people who voted for Obama might be on drugs, well, you may be onto something.

When Obama won, I and my (at the time) boyfriend of seven years thought America had made the right choice. America was finally post-racial!  There was a young, fired-up guy in the White House about to shake things up. While medicated, I believe that Obama had great ideas and unlimited energy. Just say no!

As time passed, I was unsatisfied with my condition. I was still able to work, but I was not able to do anything else, even on five medications. I would come home and basically drop dead for the day. I had assorted pains and migraines, and still wasn’t thinking very quickly.

I went from snappiness of brain to sogginess. The meds were making me replace words with other words. For months, I had Thanksgiving Day and Valentine’s Day confused.

My friend found me a new doctor who didn’t take insurance, so he actually had time to sit and listen to his patients, as he knew he didn’t have to cram in Medicare patients at $15 a pop. Lo, it turned out I also have celiac disease—damaged intestine caused by gluten (a wheat protein).

For those of you who think celiac disease is something only rich white women with time and money contract, you are partly right.  It is a disease of genetics and is concentrated in females of northern European descent.  I am one such female, however I am not even remotely rich, and I certainly don’t have any time.

Damaged intestines don’t digest food very well, and hence nutrients don’t make it up to the brain. Once I cut gluten out of my life, my pain started to dissipate. I was less hungry all the time. Most importantly, my brain came back. Interestingly, as my brain got better, my irrational adoration of Obama dwindled. I was also able to stop taking all of my fibromyalgia drugs–every last one.

My brain really came back. Instead of saying things like “They really ought to give Obama a break; he’s new!”, I started saying things like, “Oh my gosh, did you see that? They cut that clip to make the Republican sound like a jerk. If you saw the whole thing on Youtube, you’d know. How can they get away with that?”

Now I’m not saying that all the rich white Leftists that voted for and continue to apologize for Obama suffer from rich white people diseases that have made them lose their minds. I’m just saying it’s possible!

See your doctor…ASAP!

Contributor: Kevin Jackson (c) 2010 The Black Sphere, LLC

Striking a simultaneous blow to reverse discrimination and the women’s movement, while taking a page out of the “pro-choice” playbooks, Nevada may now legalize male prostitution.  That’s right, what has been going on for decades in Washington may be allowed to spread to The Silver State, and wrongs against men “lefted.”  Men are now free to choose what to do with their bodies, though they may not be able to choose who to do it with.

Who does the NOW generation of women have to thank for bringing fiscal sanity to Nevada, and ushering in the Age of Aquarius…for men? First, they can thank Obama for wrecking the economy to drive Nevada to such drastic outcome of “men’s rights!”  However the main one to thank is technology!

Technology now allows for Nevada state officials to test for infectious diseases by performing urethral testing.  Prior to this advance in medical testing technology, men with potentially dangerous urethras were left to wander the streets in America’s back alleys in search of Liberal women to service in hippie vans and “by the hour” motels.  A dirty business with no guarantees for the safety of the male “service agents.”

“Bill,” a male “service agent” in Nevada who asked not to be identified by his real name told this reporter,

Liberal women are as vicious as they are unattractive.  I actually had a Liberal woman bite off one of my areolas, when I refused to kiss her during ‘service.’  That’s just my rule—no kissing!  I would only break that rule for a Conservative woman, but we don’t get any of them.

Liberal women are at risk as well, because the disease lurking in men’s urethras is indiscriminate. Abstinence and safe sex are the only protection, and Liberal women just don’t want to be bound by rules or even guidelines.  As one Liberal woman empassioned,

We fought hard for our rights, and NOBODY is going to tell us what to do. Our bodies are our OWN! And if we GET diseases, it’s the GOVERNMENT’S RESPONSIBILITY TO GET US HEALTHCARE! And if we GET pregnant, it’s the GOVERNMENT’S RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF OUR BABIES!!

According to what Shady Lady Ranch owner Bobbi Davis had to say in this article, the timing could not be better:

The world is ready for women, or even other men, to legally buy sex…plus, being the first to offer male service could boost business in tough economic times, she said.

Davis still has one more hurdle to scale, before she can feel the impact of the economic boom by making her stable of young studs available to Liberal women, “Women’s Libbers” have fought for years to “act like men.”  As the article reports,

Davis, Flint and Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo all acknowledged Friday that Davis still needs county approval to become the first of the state’s 24 legal brothels to offer a lineup of men.  “We’re going to look at it. We have some concerns,” said DeMeo, who serves as a voting member of both a county health commission and a board that oversees alcohol, gambling and brothel licenses.

Ironic that it could be a man who might be the death nail for the first case of “men’s rights” in decades.  Men’s rights have remained stagnant at best, and most men would argue that we have lost much ground over the years, particularly since the ‘60’s.  So the ability for men to act like Liberal women could have monumental implications.

We contacted a woman’s group for comment, and their spokesperson who asked to remain anonymous told The Black Sphere,

Because of the women’s movement, there is a shortage of real men.  Most men today are metrosexual—a euphemism for being gay.  They want to stay at home and not work, expect women to pick up the check at meals, and frankly are more feminine than most women.  They are well-dressed, and some even get their eyebrows plucked. We have created these eunuchs, and now women are in need of real men who are in disturbingly short supply. We need this legislation to pass!!

Here’s the wrap:

Like medical marijuana, the lottery, lobbyists, extortion in the form of taxes, the Obama administration welcomes the new recruits into the world’s oldest occupation.  The Fed is happy that a state has stepped up to clean up the underbelly of prostitution, allowing male “service agents” to be counted—and  taxed—and to be heard…and taxed.

With the help of ACORN and the SEIU the Fed is already setting up the infrastructure to support the male “workers,” offering protection “services” to the young men. We were privy to the ad campaign the Fed and SEIU put together for the young beefcakes:

“We covet your assets!”

You can’t say that Nevada isn’t trying to be ahead of the curve in solving the economic crisis, and they are helping Obama create jobs.  Davis plans to add two male “hospitality providers” to her stable this year, and the better new is patrons will bring their own stimulus funds.

Obama sanctions the plan, since two more jobs were created (others saved), and it proves that he supports small business.  Will these new opportunities engender a new men’s movement?  Unlikely.  But it does provide a much needed service for Liberal women, provides yet again…one small step for man.

That’s my rant!

© 2009 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved

Obama looks "sweet" on Deval!

If the recent fundraiser for Massachusetts’s Governor Deval Patrick is any indicator, Obama’s luster may be wearing off. The event was nowhere near a sellout, and word on the street is that operatives were pimping tickets up to the very last minute of the event.  Worse yet, they weren’t finding any takers.

You’d think that with all the contacts on Obama’s crackberry, he could scare up enough “friends” to sell out a governor’s fundraiser?!  The lack of participation by Bostonians is simply no way to treat a Nobel Peace Prize winner!  Teddy Kennedy, the ugly cousin of LiberoFascism is rolling over in his grave! 

The event was held at the Westin Copley, occupying the entire 4^th floor–a venue that easily holds about 2000 people.  Based on my radio producer’s report from a source who spoke to a cousin of a man who knows a friend of one of the maids said, “There was plenty of room for “disco dancing!”  For journalistic integrity, we were able to confirm this with a taxi driver, who knows the sister of one of the vendors, who did overhear the concierge confirm this with his mother-in-law.

SHAMELESS PLUG – Consider investing in my Amazon Best Selling book, The BIG Black Lie, if you enjoy my work!  Then get 10 others…just TEN…to do the same! Send this message to TEN friends or something bad will happen. – Dept of Shameless Plugs at The Black Sphere!

A year ago a venue the size of the Westin Copley would not have been considered for such an event, if the messiah was to be in attendance. They would have planned on a stadium, Wembley Stadium most likely…New England game be damned!  And even that would not have been big enough, so they would have had to simulcast it on big screens.  And even that would pale.  Thus Liberals would have clamored to see the spectacle on Pay-Per-View! 

Oh what a difference a few months makes?  Who knew we would get the All Obama Channel…a spinoff of Oprah.  And the All Obama Channel would spin off the Obama Administration Comedy Channel, which of course has given America the Obama Nitwits Worldwide Comedy Channel…a channel that runs all day, every day…no reruns.

The lack of attendance to the event could be based on Obama’s recent polling numbers, which are the lowest for any president at this stage of his presidency in fifty years. Apparently many of the people on the Left have awakened to embrace their inner racists.  Who are these neo-racists? 

According to this report in the Boston Herald, CODEPINK, the environmentalists, and the LBGT are.  They all upset with Obama, as he apparently hasn’t moved far enough left for these groups, despite Hugo Chavez warning otherwise.

The Black Nationalists are mad at the firing of Van Jones, though Mark Lloyd and Michelle remain close to the president.  The Coalition for Black Reparations are complaining that the $13 a week added to paychecks is not helping blacks who have unemployment rates at twice the national average.  The National Association for Black Journalists has been vocal about the lack of access to the White House, saying, “The president is treatin’ us like we Fox or somethin’!”

There is one group who is happy with Obama, and that is the Socialist Party USA.  They are ecstatic, and we quoted as saying, “We didn’t even know we had a dog in the fight!”

Reports are that 88 people attended the event and $500K was raised for Governor Patrick.  Estimated costs for the event is $2M.  We can see that the Dems fiscal policy is not limited to government!   Regardless, when it comes to Liberals paying their own freight, you can bet the American taxpayer will be getting this bill…let’s call it a suppository.

After the fundraiser, Obama ventured to MIT—under the protection of the cops he called racists during Gates’ Gate.  There would be no repeat of BeerFest, as Gates said, “I am protesting the white part of Obama’s ethnicity, the part who didn’t help me down the stairs, the part who is now oppressing brothers and sisters all over America by not having stamped out Capitalism, and who allowed for Van Jones— a solid brother and fellow Black Nationalist— to be railroaded.  I have reached my lifetime beer quota with white devils!”  Tough talk for a man who has to walk with a cane, I say.

Here’s the wrap:

I know you may be searching for more potential answers as to why somebody with the “cult of personality” of Obama could not sell out a capacity 2000 event, when as a candidate, a nobody, he enthralled and regaled audiences of 50,000.  Well, here’s your answer.  It’s Bush’s fault!

Bush used his power over the media so people were not aware of the event in Boston.  And let’s face it, Bush dominates the news, leaving no room for alternative thought.  The so-called news reports his every move, “Jenna this, W that, Barbara, blah blah blah.” You’d think when Bush eats a burger or sports his masculine pecs on a beach in Hawaii, it’s news!

Bush still has us in two wars, not counting the one he started with Fox, and he has created the biggest gap in racial politics since the 1960’s.  He has created the largest debt in the history of America, now at $1.4 trillion, not to mention record unemployment.  He has taken over private industry, and we are now collecting less money in the treasury than ever before.  People simply could not afford the $6000 per person to attend the fundraiser…because of that idiot Ivy League president!

I don’t know if America can stand three more years of Bush!

That’s my rant!

© Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved