Bizarro World

DC Comics could have never predicted that the fictitious Bizarro World would indeed come to pass in 2008. The idea is so far out there, that one would find it…bizarre.

Bizarro World is the world of “Htrae” (“Earth” spelled backwards), where society is ruled by the Bizarro Code: “Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!”

There is an episode in Bizarro World where a salesman has a great business selling Bizarro bonds: “Guaranteed to lose money for you“. It is easy to see what DC Comics likely thought was a fictitious, weird place in the universe. However, when you analyze America today, one can conclude that the nonsensical Bizarro World has become our bizarre reality.

So we begin our analysis by examining the Financial Crisis of 2008.

First, the truth is that it is the Democrats are chiefly responsible for the financial crisis, and they have created our Bizarro World. I won’t take you through my normal history lesson, as most of you have been deluged by the facts. However I will outline a few relevant facts:

  • Fact – Jimmy Carter signed into law the Community Reinvestment Act (1977), authorizing loans be made available to low-income households
  • Fact – Clinton repeals Glass-Stegall and reduces reserve requirements with Fed bank
  • Fact – Obama the lawyer threatens lawsuits against institutions for not making suspect loans
  • Fact – Obama (Dem) receives 2nd most PAC money from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
  • Fact – Dodd (Dem) receives the most PAC money from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
  • Fact – The Democrats thwarted any and all legislation to put controls on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, though Republicans were initiating it
  • Fact – Barney Frank (Dem) was the Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee during this time and has been on the committee for ten years…oh, and Frank received the 3rd most money from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac

Now this is enough evidence for any reasonable person to concede that the Democrats are chiefly to blame, though I defy you to find me a reasonable Democrat, for that is truly an oxymoron. So using logic, ask yourself, “If a Republican was to blame, given the temperament of the Democrats who control both Houses of Congress, and who wanted to impeach Bush for “war crimes”, then why hasn’t a Republican been drawn and quartered?” Surely there is some Republican for the Democrats to drag behind a truck through the streets of Washington DC. Let me answer my rhetorical question: No Republican has been dragged, because there isn’t one to drag.

And because we are in “Bizarro World”, Obama has convinced America that it is George Bush’s fault and then tied the 800-pound gorilla on McCain’s back, when both Bush and McCain warned of the crisis as early as 2004! Since we are in Bizarro World, I must say…”Well done, Obama!”

But there is more to Bizarro World. Where else can you grow up with work ethic, study hard in school, get good grades, and land yourself a good job, only to be called a racist, self-indulgent son-of-swine? And if you advance to ownership, then you are scum for breaking the backs of the poor Bizarro World non-worker. Since we are in Bizarro World, I say…”Shame on you, you hardworking, college-educated person of character“.

Bizarro World is a world, where known terrorists are freed, and innocent babies are killed. So in Bizarro World, you can blow up police stations and commit other acts of terror, and be lauded as a citizen, and be given lots of money by the government, and then allowed to teach others of your disdain for the government at the University of Chicago, where you will be lauded as one of Bizarro World’s finest professors. Such is Bizarro World.

But woe be to the innocent babies, because they hate innocence in Bizarro World.

But there is more to Bizarro World. Bizarro World is the only place in the universe where you can be lazy, actually encouraged not to work, have six children by four “baby’s mama’s“, and you will not be required to pay child support.

In Bizarro World the government will dispatch your checks to you twice a month, because you needn’t get up from your rest. So you can sit leisurely in your government-subsidized air-conditioned or heated home, eating government provided food, watching cable TV in your $100 Nikes, your $50 jeans, your $350 “throw-back” Jersey, while talking in intelligible language on your cell phone, playing on your PlayStation, with an iPod and keys to your tricked-out Lexus in your pocket. Since we are in Bizzaro World, I say…”Touché, you lazy Knucklehead. Well done!” But there is more to Bizarro World.

In Bizarro World, if you molest a child, they send you to a spa for a month for rehab, and then celebrate your release. Job you say? Well why not work at a day-care center. Because in Bizarro World, everybody deserves a second chance [to molest a child].

In the real world, a criminal breaks into your home, rapes your cat, and steals your loot, you shoot him, he’s arrested, tried by a jury of his peers, then sent to jail, hopefully to be tormented as he tormented your cat.

But in Bizarro World, in the same scenario, the criminal is not arrested, you are. Then you are sued by the criminal for violating his rights to steal your loot, lose your home to the criminal, while the criminal marries your cat. Congratulations to the miscreant, and welcome to Bizarro World…oh, and let’s not forget to welcome him to your family. As for you, well now you’re getting what the cat got from the criminal! Our criminal is now an outstanding citizen of Bizarro World!

In the real world, one learns a craft, and works at a job for many years, in order to gain true expertise. However in Bizarro World, you can get hired at a junior level, go on sabbatical for 18 months to write a book, return for six months, and then ask to be made president. Not president of the company, silly, but of the United States! Since we are in Bizarro World, I say…”Well done, Smooth Criminal!”

And finally, in Bizarro World the president can hang out with criminals, and terrorists who surprisingly are mostly university professors. In Bizarro World the president hates the country, and he demonstrates it during the pledge of Allegiance, as he doesn’t put his hand over his heart, nor does he show any patriotism, like wearing an American flag on his lapel, unless it is upside down! And in Bizarro World, the president disregards the Constitution.

Welcome to the new world that is America. Welcome to Bizarro World…Have a crappy day!

That’s my rant!

© 2008 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved

Back to top button