For The Girl Who Has Almost Everything

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What do you get the girl who has everything? A senate seat, of course! And given the lack of depth of qualified liberals in New York, Caroline Kennedy is the obvious choice. 

With the media onslaught to simply award Caroline a senate seat, I am forced to write a Part Deux (Part I being Turdapalooza – And You Thought Hillary Was Unqualified!) of this ridiculous idea of adding another Kennedy the American government. 

New Yorkers don’t seem to care that much, considering they let the wife of an Arkansas hillbilly carbetbag her way into the senate. Prior to Hillary’s entry into the senate, her qualifications were, let’s see, there was that failed (thank God!) socialized health care initiative.  And oh yeah…she was the wife of a hillbilly governor from Arkansas.  Sounds qualified to me!  But what has Senator Clinton done since becoming a senator? 

As I showcased in Hillary’s Executive Credentials, here is what the state of New York got for its money from the junior senator:
  • Establish the Kate Mullany National Historic Site
  • Support the goals and ideals of Better Hearing and Speech Month
  • Recognize the Ellis Island Medal of Honor
  • Name courthouse after Thurgood Marshall
  • Name courthouse after James L. Watson
  • Name post office after Jonn A. O’Shea
  • Designate Aug. 7, 2003, as National Purple Heart Recognition Day
  • Support the goals and ideals of National Purple Heart Recognition Day
  • Honor the life and legacy of Alexander Hamilton on the bicentennial of his death
  • Congratulate the Syracuse Univ. Orange Men’s Lacrosse Team on winning the championship
  • Congratulate the Le Moyne College Dolphins Men’s Lacrosse Team on winning the championship 
  • Establish the 225th Anniversary of the American Revolution Commemorative Program
  • Name post office after Sergeant Riayan A. Tejeda
  • Honor Shirley Chisholm for her service to the nation and express condolences on her death
  • Honor John J. Downing, Brian Fahey, and Harry Ford, firefighters who lost their lives on duty
  • Extend period of unemployment assistance to victims of 9/11
  • Pay for city projects in response to 9/11
  • Assist landmine victims in other countries
  • Assist family caregivers in accessing affordable respite care
  • Designate part of the National Forest System in Puerto Rico as protected in the wilderness preservation system

Impressive senate record, if I do say so myself! With such a distinguished senate record, it’s no wonder New Yorkers are so proud [to get rid] of Hillary Clinton. And I can plainly see why Obama chose Clinton as Secretary of State, when you consider the vast foreign policy experience she showed as a senator. 

So New Yorkers are used to “the same ol’ same ol‘”, and thus they are willing to be spoon-fed their crap sandwiches. Therefore, Caroline Kennedy having a worse resume than Hillary’s is a shoe-in, of course! After all, Liberals live in Bizarro World

And oh my God, I mean it’s like now we have like Camelot with Caroline all over again. I mean she’s got like the bloodline and all!” Yes, you would have to possess the brain of a Valley Girl or a Liberal to take Caroline Kennedy seriously. And you can bet the Governor Paterson will. Remember this is the same guy who wants to tax sugar, including coffee and soft drinks, if they have sugar. I bet he ends up with sugar in his gas tank!

I chronicled Caroline’s extensive experience at doing nothing in my blog Turdapalooza. And why is Caroline willing to grace New York and America with her vast political knowledge and knowledge of the “common man“, Caroline says that 9/11 and Obama made her want to leave her secluded life and to answer the call of duty. 

And the media has ordained Caroline as the new senator from New York already. The story is everywhere. Reflections on The Kennedy Years…no not Teddy “The Scuba Diver” Kennedy, but the good-looking one, JFK. 

The media wants America to have those good feelings again with Caroline’s ordination; like smelling the aroma of coffee in the morning or Mom’s apple pie. A ‘feel good’ moment…a snugglewith Mom. Ummm…

Well that person snuggling you ain’t your momma.  It’s 6’8″, 310lb Bubba, your new cellie in San Quentin. Bad news: Bubba’s the husband and you’re the wife, if you get my meaning.

And if you thought I was the only one laughing at the absurdity of Caroline becoming a senator, she channel’s her own brother’s thoughts about her newfound political interest in this AP article by Larry Neumeister:

Kennedy chuckled when she was asked if her brother, the late John F. Kennedy Jr., had ever suggested she run for public office some day. “He usually thought about himself,” she said. “He would be laughing his head off at seeing what’s going on right now.”

It’s a safe bet that he would laugh, and like her brother, she is thinking only about herself. Surely she must realize that there are many more people of New York more qualified than she, eg. Sanitation workers, street sweepers, short-order fry cooks. And if we have to drag the Hudson, then what about Steinbrenner? At least he has had a real job.

We already have one radical state ruled by a Kennedy Liberal, and I say that’s one too many. 

That’s my rant!

© 2008 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved

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