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Obama Appoints Himself CEO of Chrysler

It appears that Obama is now the new CEO of Chrysler having intervened to cut their advertising budget in half. Interesting that a guy who has never had a real job now believes he is capable of running a multi-billion dollar company. I guess when you have the country’s wallet at your disposal, you can make anything work, including running a bankrupt company.
With Fiat buying the best part of Chrysler and the government providing $6B for Chrysler to file bankruptcy, maybe they can make a comeback. Keep in mind fellow extremists and infidels: There is always more of our hard-earned taxes for “Chrysler Bailout – Round Fourteen.”

I find it extraordinary that Obama can find the time to micro-manage a company that is supposed to be in bankruptcy. Perhaps Obama figures it’s best to take over a company that has failed. If the company dies—”no blood, no foul.” If it somehow makes it—then guess who’s a “god?” Like I said earlier, when you control the purse strings, you can keep the patient on life-support indefinitely.

As for Chrysler, they must feel honored. If the CEO of Chrysler is like most CEOs, he has to feel good to be singled out for such prestigious help by the messiah. I guess it’s like Obama said—[pp] “Chrysler is just too big to fail.” Funny—I thought Chrysler did fail?

When you consider all the things that Obama could be doing, the only conclusion I can draw is that Obama has cloned himself. I can’t believe that there just are enough hours in the day to run Chrysler…and the world.

I mean Obama has to have pressing agenda items like addressing the situation with the Koreans, who continue to expand their missile programs. Then there are those pesky al-Qaeda fighters threatening “Pockestan”? These two issues are only about rogue nations and/or terrorists getting their hands on nuclear weapons or fissionable materials. Yet, the messiah is taking time to help Chrysler. In the scheme of things, I’m sure that you all agree with me that the potential nuking of America pales in comparison to managing Chrysler’s marketing budget. “What is ya…ignant?”

I must say, I see the reasoning behind the Obama move to cut the advertising budget of Chrysler. After all, they are been in the news now for weeks—at no cost! Free publicity all over the place.

Then there is the new legislation in Massachusetts whereby the poor can qualify to get free cars. You likely can get the word out on this program by “word of mouf.” I suggest that this legislation is part of the Obama strategy—to provide the proverbial mule to black folks. Test case: Taxachussetts.

Obama is a one-man marketing machine. His takeover of Chrysler allows for a budget cut, as people will be drawn to the company–like moths to a…light that will shine down as a beacon. One good word from the messiah himself, and people will be buying Chryslers in droves. People may not know this but Obama drove a Chrysler 300—it was auctioned off shortly after his election for over $200K—complete with cigarette burns. Should Obama sit his royal butt in all the cars rolling off the production line, who knows what “His Lowness” would be able to raise for the company?

Here’s the wrap:

I suggest other car companies take a serious look at their futures. Remember Obama is a lawyer, and he will be looking for ways to eliminate the competition—as he did in his other elections. So if Obama is running Chrysler, he may just decide to dry up funds to the rest of the auto industry. Given Obama’s modus operandi, I would not be surprised to see a one-car America, and Chrysler will call that vehicle—the Genericus. Though Chrysler will offer only one model, it will be customizable, as described below:

  • Genericus Pelosius – The front end is stretched so that it never loses that high-gloss sheen, no matter how old it gets
  • Genericus Clintonius – Has additional headroom and stain-resistant seats
  • Genericus Frankus – Equipped with additional trunk room…just in case
  • Genericus Bidenus – Honda brought you the Mo-ped, and in honor of Joe Biden, Chrysler brings you the Stu-ped—nuff said!
  • And the Chrysler flagship Genericus model is the Obamacus—when you crave a bit of the 70s nostalgia, and prefer a car that smokes—but says it doesn’t

Other models coming soon…

That’s my rant!

© 2009 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved

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