Maybe We Can Split a Beer

There are a couple of things that historically have been found to be inflation-proof, recession-proof, and depression-proof, and one of those things is beer.   It appears however that even nature’s elixir is not Obama-proof!

The fact that InBev, now the largest brewer in the world had flat sales is astounding—a true rarity in historical terms.  This is the company that bought Anheuser-Busch…the makers of Bud Light—the most popular beer in America— for goodness sakes!  At this rate InBev may all have to change their vats from brewing beer to making Kool-Aid—the Liberals’ intoxicant.

According to this report in AP,

The world’s largest brewer and maker of Budweiser reported Thursday a fourth quarter profit of $1.28 billion, helped by cost cuts and price hikes, but said global beer sales were stagnant and forecast no rebound in 2010.

Economists may point at things like “housing starts”, “exports,” or “durable goods manufacturing” to measure the economic health of America. However, beer sales are a much better indicator, second only to cosmetics!

The report goes on to say,

In the United States, the company’s biggest market, beer volume sales were down 2.1 percent last year — even though revenues grew 0.6 percent.

Sounds suspiciously like the US Treasury…except that part about revenue growing!

You know the economy is bad when people don’t have the money to drink themselves into oblivion. No matter how bad it got in the former Soviet Union, the proletariat could always line up for their Vodka! Could it be Obama teaching us Capitalist a lesson, showing us that the Soviets really did have it better than we?  All Americans get from the government is cheese, which I still say is the Fed’s snarky way of laughing at us:  “Say CHEESE you taxpaying with no representation knuckleheads!”

No matter.  Because at this rate, about all we peasants can expect when the “shcrap” hits the fan will be a few cans of Tsingtao every now and then.

And the outlook remains dismal, at least for the remainder of 2010, as InBev expects flat to sluggish sales throughout 2010.  Apparently InBev is not as optimistic about Obama’s ability to create 95,000 new consumers (jobs) each month in 2010.  Corporations who like to make profits tend to look at things like “trends.” Perhaps the job loss trend in Jan and Feb was one of the data points considered in InBev’s evaluation of their own situation?

InBev CEO Carlos Brito had this to say:

We continue to be very bullish in the U.S. but recognize that until the economy gets better, we’re going to have some tough years.

Let’s just say what Carlos didn’t, and give a name to these “tough years.” The tough years unquestionably will be deemed “The Obama Years,”  which I have dubbed this period The Era of Brown Underwear.  I own seven pair.

For the rest of us however, there appears to be no hypnotic potion to make us see this economy for anything but what it is…pathetic.

Considering an administration who gave us “enemy combatants,” “saved or created,” “spend your way out of debt,” “spread the wealth around,” “58 states-‘I have visited 57 states…with still one more left to go,’” “transparency,” “no lobbyists in my administration”, “the most ethical administration,” “posting of legislation on the internet,” and Joe Biden as VP—I think I have made my point—I wouldn’t put too much stock in the Obama administration’s ability to positively affect the American economy over the next three years.  Thankfully, that is all the time Obama will get.

Here’s the wrap:

Nothing, repeat nothing is supposed to hurt beer sales! People will dig through sofa cushions and remove car seats to find money for beer.  Some people will choose beer before a meal! 

So we find ourselves in uncharted territory, alcoholically speaking.  And given America’s problems, sobriety and society are real risk!

We have the highest unemployment since the Carter era, with no real potential for long-term job growth, and we have deficits and deficit spending that nobody would have envisioned even as short as a decade ago.  Lipstick or not, we are still looking at a pig of an economy, not something you want to face sober, necessarily.  All because we let a man with the intellect of a seventeen year old high-school dropout run America.

If we are lucky, next time we get together maybe we can split a beer?!

That’s my rant!

© 2010 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere All Rights Reserved

Kevin Jackson is an author of the Amazon best-selling book, The BIG Black Lie, a nationally renowned speaker, and he appears regularly on The Glenn Beck Show. His blog is

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