It was brought to my attention that the US policy on immigration is indeed racist! In the spirit of fair play to the Left, I must right this wrong on behalf of all African-Americans. In order to put this in proper perspective, I will elucidate the immigration policy of the US.
You see, if you cross the border illegally into the US, you are issued a driver’s license, and a social security card. These two documents will allow you participation on America’s welfare system, or what is better known as The Immigrant Lotto! And you are an instant winner!
The immigrant lotto pays off like a change machine, every time, its only delay is to reload with fresh greenbacks! Every winner gets lots of prizes that thankfully for the illegal immigrant become what are known as “entitlements!”
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One such “entitlement” is a federally subsidized government home. Illegals can rent it or own it…their choice. But why not own! Because if they fail to pay for it, the Fed will simply keep making the payments for them! The only loser in this part of the lotto is the people who don’t qualify for the Federal programs, otherwise known by Liberals as “The Oppressors of Democrat Voters.”
Next, illegal immigrants are issued a food credit card, a card that replaced food stamps. The beauty of the credit card is that it is accepted by establishments (bars) who serve food (and liquor), so illegals can now get their drink on, without having to convert the old food stamps for cash, then buy liquor at the grocery store. Liquor is a bit more expensive at the bar, however illegals can just think of it as a night out at the American taxpayers’ expense!
Next lotto entitlement is a free education, not that immigrants should bother using it. Why even bother with education, when all a good one will get you is headaches?
With a good education illegals run the risk of becoming “high earners,” thus opting out of the lotto. Let those high achieving ethical right-wing weenies go for the gold, while illegals sit on their lazy asses watching Novellas or The View translated in Spanish (SAP) on that new flat screen TV they got from Rent-A-Center…with taxpayer dollars!
In the education system there is the Super Lotto. If you are an immigrant and can miraculously get into Columbia, then Harvard, well you might fly in under the radar, and who knows…you could become president. A 300 million-to-one chance that you will receive that benny, however. So again, why bother!
Nevertheless, what the lotto lacks in education bennies, it more than makes up for in healthcare. For now, the US still enjoys the distinction of being the best healthcare system in the world. And as an illegal participant, immigrants are treated to the same service as legal citizens, without that nagging bill. The “Get out of the Emergency Room Free” card is simply, “No speaky English!”
Other lotto goodies include a government subsidized GM car, a cell phone (in case the First Lady happens by), one’s own lobbyist in Washington, and the right to protest one’s harsh and unfair treatment by America, and illegals get to accuse their newly adopted country of imperialism in the immigrant’s home country…BONUS!
The ‘Blame America’ card: Don’t leave home without it.
Add to this the right to vote illegally in America’s elections, and you have what is this man’s definition of Utopia. If you’re a Mexican, that is!
As an African-American, I am appalled by this racist policy! Had it not been for Dave Perkins—a white man—frankly I would have missed this most racist policy of the Fed.
As Dave, my friend and producer points out,
…it’s unfair to penalize Africans for the fact that their country is thousands of miles away, in the wrong hemisphere and across the ocean. They didn’t ask to be born there. Africans should have the same right to walk across illegally into America that Mexicans have. It’s only fair.
I agree! Not to mention, Africa is more than a country, it’s a continent. Africa has 53 countries, not counting disputed territories, and there are many ethnicities to take into account, not just Mexican!
Dave goes on to say,
“Therefore I am calling on Congress to create and fund a fleet of ships whose sole purpose is to go and down both African coasts and pick up anyone who wants to come to the US illegally, feed and clothe them for the voyage, and drop them off just south of Brownsville/McAllen on the eastern Mexican coast. Once there, they will be equipped with backpacks of food and Gatorade and good walking shoes, and they can simply walk across our border just like the Mexicans.”
But that would just be step one towards correcting this most racist policy against African illegals!
Not one iota of concern is voiced in America about the translation of documents into one of the more than 2000 languages spoken in Africa, even the more prominent languages like Bantu in Angola, or Fon and Yuroba in Benin, Amharic in Ethiopia, Fang, Mbere, Punu, or Sira in Gabon, Darija in Morocco, and so on. Africans are forced to learn English!
Until the Democrats implement this or an equivalent solution, I will be calling them anti-African racists. Join me!
That’s my rant!
© 2010 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere – All Rights Reserved