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Obama has tracked down the ass he is going to kick over the oil incident, so the culprit better hope that Obama is not wearing his new cotton-tipped suede loafers!  I suggest if Obama is serious about kicking ass, that he begins by kicking his own ass.

According to Fox News, Obama said he has talked to a variety of “experts” on the oil spill in addition to the fishermen.

“I talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers — so I know whose ass to kick,” the president said.

It’s laughable that anybody would actually be afraid of Obama’s tough words, or any threat to have one’s ass kicked by him. I liken it to a 7-year old girl in Daddy’s army boots making that threat! Now if Michelle threatens to kick your ass, then you should take that more seriously.

Though Obama won’t confirm this, BP is the obvious target of his ass-kicking.  Obama hasn’t suggested who will get the ass-kicking at BP, given that BP was a major contributor to his campaign. My bet is that BP is looking for the appropriate big ass scapegoat to offer up to Lord Obama.

If I may suggest somebody I offer up Paul McCarthy’s ass for a good sound thrashing for two reasons:  (1) McCarthy is British as is BP, and (2) McCarthy had the gall to have a concert at the White House, when Obama should have been concentrating his presidential powers on the people in America’s Gulf Coast region.

Obama said that he would work “tirelessly,” until this issue was resolved.  Thankfully we now have the definition of “tirelessly.”

The big criticism of Obama is that he seems to lack passion in dealing with this crisis.  I suggest that when everything is a crisis from day one, he has run out of juice, animo, energy in dealing with new issues with any passion. His passion is zapped! Anybody else working on destroying a country with the alacrity of Obama would be dead from exhaustion by now! 

North Korea sinks one of our ally’s ships, and Obama has almost no reaction.  Israel under attack, Obama takes it under advisement.  Somali pirates capture American ships, Obama contemplates the situation. EXHAUSTING work, as you can imagine!

So when Obama should be using his toughest words, he uses them against “Capitalists!” Big Oil, they’re the culprit. He conveniently forgot that it was the environmentalist who drove the oil companies to look for product in almost impossible situations, since onshore and near-shore drilling has been banned by the Greenies.

Think Obama will hold environmentalist partially responsible for this mess, and all the potential messes oil companies have postured all over the world’s oceans?  Doubtful, but just in case, I suggest Obama wear Green shoes, perhaps with a twinge of brown. You never know how the Greenies will react to a firm kick in the ass! What a mess!

But Obama won’t be kicking any Green asses, and even with the hint that this could have been a terrorist attack, Obama won’t be kicking any terrorists’ asses either. 

We can Mirandize them, and offer a Caramel Macchiato. It is unlikely that the terrorists need an ass-kicking on this one, given their penchant to destroy a building or two, but not the entire Southwest coastline!

BP’s CEO, Tony Hayward attempted to marginalize the damage being done by the spill, which elicited this comment from Obama:

“He wouldn’t be working for me after any of those statements…

No it would take more than damaging part of America’s coastline to get a job on Obama’s cabinet. For example, if BP needed a bailout to add to their demonstrated incompetence, well then Hayward might be able to make a play for a cabinet spot. For now, he will just have to settle for some really tough words!

Here’s the wrap:

They don’t make sissy enough shoes for Obama to kick anybody’s ass.  If there is any ass-kicking to happen, expect Obama to point!

You’d be more likely get an ass-kicking from ballerina boy, Rahm Emanuel, than from Obama…clarification: Barack!  Again, Michelle will get in that ass!

For the record, it’s the market that is the real ass-kicker!

The market is doing what Obama can only “talk” of doing, as the market is kicking BP’s ass, but good! Their stock is down considerably, as is their market cap (-$82B).

The market is saying, “Oh no you did-n’t!” She has taken off her shoes, and giving BP an old-fashioned ass-kicking, with a Rodney King beatdown chaser.

I suggest that Obama let the market handle BP, while Obama sticks to killing flies!

That’s my rant!

© 2010 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC All Rights Reserved

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