Moral of the Fake Tag Heuer

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The election of Obama reminds me of  a time years ago  when I bought a fake Tag Heuer watch. I was visiting Manhattan. Normally I walk right by street vendors, but this watch was gorgeous.  All but true Tag aficionados could even come close to telling that the watch was a fake.

The thing that impressed me about the watch was it had the “weight” of a real Tag.  It didn’t feel like the lightweight replicas I had seen in Mexico, China, and Africa. And the best part?  My fake Tag cost me $7!

My fake Tag was made of a high gloss “white gold” electroplate—ok stainless steel—with a sea blue oyster shell face, and it had a curved bezel. The contrast between the high-gloss steel and the blue face made my fake Tag extremely eye-catching; the contrast gave it a regal appearance.

My fake Tag had all the Tag markings on the back. I wore the watch everywhere and received numerous compliments, and I was so confident about my fake Tag, that occasionally I would allow questioners to inspect it first-hand.  I was proud of my fake Tag.

Many times I wondered how could anybody manufacture even a fake Tag, then sell them for retail on the streets for $7?! This meant manufacturing costs were less than $1. It was a working watch, for goodness sake. It didn’t keep atomic time, but I never lost more than five minutes a day.

Timekeeping notwithstanding, people would see my fake Tag, and say things like, “I didn’t know Tag made anything except diving watches.  That is an exquisite Tag! Where did you get it?”

“Oh this old thing,” I would deflect to keep from lying outright!

“Diving,” I thought!  I didn’t dare get my fake Tag near anything moist, for that would mean certain death of my fake Tag. In rainstorms, I took off my fake Tag, placing it in the driest thing available.  If I were in a high humidity climate, I kept fake Tag with a demoisturizer packet.

I treated fake tag better than I did my real Tag, which was a Tag for diving.

Though one day a few months later life began as normal, it would not be.  I performed my normal ritual of getting ready, but as I reach for fake Tag, I found my fake Tag lifeless!

“Not for long,” I said aloud.

So, I rerouted a few errands that day so I could visit one of those watch repair kiosk at the mall, so that I could have them breathe life back into fake Tag. I had gotten accustomed to the look of fake Tag on my wrist. Without it, I felt naked.

I approached fake Tag’s potential life-giver with mixed emotions.  Would fake Tag be good enough to fool a person I would deem an expert?  Would the sales clerk unknowingly compliment me as others had on my fake Tag? Or would he “out” me as a pretentious sellout for having purchased what I knew was not the real thing?

I laid fake Tag on the countertop, and the young salesperson said, “Wow, nice Tag! You’re gonna want our best battery for this!”

I said, “Well how much is the best battery?”

The salesman said, “$24. But you wouldn’t want to skimp on a Tag, or you could ruin the inner workings!”

Now I had a dilemma.

“Just out of curiosity, how much is the non-Tag battery for a Tag,” I inquired?

The salesperson said, “$3. But again, you could ruin a Tag if you…because Chinese batteries are…blah blah blah.”

I didn’t even hear the rest of his education on fine watches and cheap batteries.  Circling through my mind was the fact that I had a $7 watch that I wanted people to believe was a $2500 watch, and putting a battery in it that was costing me more three times more than the cost of fake watch!

Here’s the wrap:

Liberal America in electing Obama bought a fake Tag. And the batteries have run down in less than a year. Obama may still look good, but he’s running through batteries, like Tiger does mistresses, except Obama’s batteries are his radical agenda.

The Liberals feel trapped, because they simply can’t admit that they have bought fake Tags, and maintenance of their fake cost more than the fake himself!

As for that battery salesman. I suspect he knew my Tag was a fake.  Why not take advantage of somebody who wanted a poser? I was ripe for the picking.

The moral to the story:  Don’t settle for the fake, as it will cost you a lot more in the end!

That’s my rant!

© Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC All Rights Reserved

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