As I predicted, there would be more to the Weiner story. In these historical moments, one often is asked, “What were you doing, when the Weiner came clean?” I was out putting “LOL” stickers Obama “Yes We Can” bumper stickers.
The Weiner mea culpa came over my radio, where I got to hear Weiner’s tearful confession. I could only wonder, “How many other girls had Weiner shafted?”
Weiner. Weinerman. Weinerino. Wein-dingo. Weineruski. The WeinerTweeter had been so smug in his denials; and as many people will attest, there is nothing worse than a defiant Weiner. He went on to claim he was hacked, of course. When I first heard that the Weiner had been hacked, I fully expected Lorena Bobbitt to be “a person of interest,” only to find out that Weiner had been COMPUTER hacked.
Trending: Cuomo Caves: It’s All True!
In honor of a week of news being dedicated to Weiner, I did a short poll of my Facebook peeps, and here are the Top 5 Weiner Story Headlines:
- New Weiner Twitter Account Discovered – “NYCPrick”
- Weiner: He plumps when you cook him!
- Weiner gets grilled on The Hill!
- Will Weiner Rise Again?
- Was it safe tweeting, and did Weiner use condiments?
I decided not to stop there, and figured we all have known a few weiners in our lives, so why not just have a little fun at this very public Weiner’s expense.
First, Weiner must have drinks being named after him. I suggest we all dedicate a drink to all philandering Democrats who deny the lie. Let’s call it a Weinershot. It certainly gives a whole new meaning to “pounding back shots.”
Or how about a martini called a Weinermeister. I suggest you have it shaken and NOT stirred, unless you know where that swizzlestick has been.
The American Kennel Club filed a lawsuit against Weiner on behalf of Dachsunds, otherwise known as “Weiner dogs.” The spokesperson for the AKC said that they are appalled at Congressman Weiner’s behavior and that his behavior is not indicative of that of weiner dogs.
As a precautionary measure, the AKC close all twitter accounts of weiner dogs. The spokesperson added that this move is not in any way an indication that any weiner dogs are guilty of tweeting pictures of their private parts over the internet, but the AKC preferred to err on the side of caution.
Pelosi demanded a Weiner probe…true story! Barney Frank volunteers to head up the task force. Amazingly Harry Reid wanted no part of Weiner, rebuffing him. He was overheard by The Black Sphere correspondent saying, “Get that thing out of my FACE!”
Who knew that the Weiner could be such a weapon of mass distraction?! What are we not paying attention to? Here are a few things:
Obama’s 71st golf outing since playing at president, enough golf for almost 3 weeks of vacations. Obama’s vacation to Ireland, then taxpayer paid campaign stop in Missouri. Yemen in turmoil. The Muslim Brotherhood taking over Afghanistan, Iraq, and Eqypt. The stock market sagging like a thoroughbred caring a sumo wrestler.
Hidden Taxes in ObamaCare coming to roost. Like that tax on GOLD! The government knew that the dollar was dropping, so they are taxing gold. This is the equivalent of taxing a currency exchange. Can you imagine going to ask for change for a dollar and getting back $0.88?
There is another ObamaCare tax due to kick in, in 2012. It’s a 3.8% tax on the sale of your home. Forget that you have already paid taxes to own your home. The good news is NOBODY CAN SELL THEIR HOMES, at least for now.
I guess in the scheme of things, we really are getting Weinered. Except Obama and Schwarzeneggar. They are both ecstatic over the Weiner roast. Come get ya hot dogs!
That’s my rant!
(c) 2011 Kevin Jackson – The Black Sphere, LLC – All Rights Reserved
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