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Clutch Your Pearls

Crudeness has become incredibly prevalent in our society—and epidemic in our technology. Back in the old days, some topics were not spoken of in polite circles. And while I do not wish to go back to the days when a woman’s place was ONLY in the home, and June Cleaver wore pearls and a dress while she cleaned the house, I do miss the civility, the properness, the down-right politeness of people. And for the record?

I don’t own any pearls, but I do clean house. Ad nauseam.

In my search for family friendly television shows, I feel as though I have to have a bottle of bleach sitting next to me on the recliner. Simply surfing through the channels can be dangerous for those of us not wanting to be dragged down into the slime pit of what passes for television shows these days. Even some commercials should have an Mature Audiences Only rating.

Can you imagine sitting in a room with your parents and watching a commercial for male enhancement? Or erectile dysfunction? Just close your eyes for a second, picture mom and dad in the living room, you’re laying on the floor and along comes a commercial about ribbed condoms. I don’t know about you, but I’m fairly certain my mother would have had a stroke on the spot.

Don’t you feel the same? It’s like when you’re innocently googling something and a host of obscene pornographic images comes up on the screen, despite filters you’ve installed. That happened to me once and my small children were near. I threw my body across the monitor. Probably not the best thing for the screen but purchasing a new monitor was a small price to pay for not having my children’s psyches brutalized in such a fashion.

Vulgarity and pornography rule the world. Twitter has a new app called Vine. I think you know what people are using it for. No? Well, I’ll tell you. Porn. Six second flashes of naked teenagers, naked people doing things I’d rather my children not see. Heck, I don’t want to see it. Technology is a wonderful thing, but this whole Ooooh-I-can-now-post-naked-pictures-and-videos craze is going to return and bite these free wheeling and misguided people in the future.

On Monday, Twitter received a cascade of complaints after it posted (what has been called) a six second hard core pornographic video on it’s App page’s Editor’s picks. Twitter took it down, apologized and called it human error. I’ll say. Human error indeed. I’d like to see a picture of the pimply-faced-Twit who posted that video. Then I’d like to wash his mouth out with soap—or would that be his eyes? Or any one’s eyes that saw that filth!

pearlclutchingAnd please don’t come at me with “but that’s not pornography, it’s protected free speech under the First Amendment” bit.

If our founding fathers could see our nation of base, lowest denominator, filth-seeking-porn-loving citizenry standing behind the finely crafted words that lifted us all out of peasantry and gave our ancestors a voice, they would not only be rolling over in their graves, they’d be making some mighty powerful dance moves in the dust. Fully clothed, of course.

Now please excuse me while I gasp and clutch my pearls whilst watching television with my family.

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