Red Blooded Mama in a Blue State

I am a unique kind of Conservative, although perhaps not as unique as I’d like to think. There are no guns in my home, yet I firmly believe in the 2nd Amendment, allowing citizens to arm themselves. I also enjoy long walks on the beach, sunsets and virgin piña coladas. I happen to abstain from alcohol as well as firearms, but not for the same reasons. Contrary to the liberal media, as a conservative woman I’ve never kicked a puppy and I have the utmost respect for women who raise well adjusted children with their husbands, work outside the home and bake a mean fruit tart.

As a woman of faith, I also enjoy quiet times of peace and reflection. These moments are generally disturbed by the teenagers in my home being…teenagers, and the annoying main stream media with it’s left leaning bias.

But back to the dearth of firearms in my residence. It’s not that I don’t believe guns are useful—I do. I believe they have a purpose, much like booze’s purpose is to relax you, cause bad decisions, break up marriages, and help white people dance—the purpose of a gun is to protect and defend against the forces of evil, be they foreign, domestic or that meth head busting down your front door at 4 a.m. They also come in quite handy when one is hunting deer, elk, moose, bear or taking care of that pesky mole problem in your front lawn. For the record? My father is now off probation for the unlawful shooting of a mole within city limits. I kept telling him to catch it and take it outside city limits, but noooo. He had to shoot that lil sucker when it finally popped up from it’s hole after we plugged the other hole with a lit road flare. He is nothing if not inventive.

The only other time I know of my father shooting a rifle is when he went deer hunting. He stopped doing that after his children came to him with tears streaming down their little faces because Bambi was hanging upside down in their garage. Plus, none of us would eat Bambi.

The only guns I’ve ever held in my hands have been water pistols and a BB gun. We were teenagers at the time and thought it would be fun to shoot at glass soda bottles. Yes, they came in glass not plastic back then. Yes, I’m old. Ok, not that old.

The point I’m attempting to make here is that you don’t need to be a gun wielding Texan with a full gun rack inside your truck to support gun ownership for the people of our nation. You can be like me: a meek, mild mannered red blooded mama living in a blue state that has never curled her finger around the trigger of a gun with a bullet in the chamber.

This does not mean, as has been bandied about by the main stream talking heads, that I am a heartless, soulless, violence-loving ‘merikan who spends her time downing Bud Lites and watching NASCAR while teaching her 2 year old how to get over the kick of a semi-automatic. None of my 2 year olds have ever held anything more dangerous than a water pistol. Or a Happy Meal, but that’s another column entirely.

On December 14th, 2012, I was sitting in a dark room when my phone buzzed. I looked at the alert and CNN informed me that there had been a shooter at a school in Connecticut. Closing my phone, I looked up to heaven and said a prayer in my heart for those in harms way. I had no idea of the scale of this tragedy at that moment. I was at Seattle Children’s Hospital watching the brain waves of my youngest child as they danced across the monitor during her EEG. She was sleeping peacefully, all wrapped up in white gauze with wires protruding out of bandages. I gave a sigh and silently thanked my Father in Heaven that I knew where my youngest child was and that she was safe.

As the day progressed, more of the tragedy came to light. I wept for the families, the children, the first responders who would have to process this unimaginable horror. Openly crying in front of my children and hugging them each time they came near me. However, not once did I blame the gun in the madman’s hands. Not once did the thought cross my mind that everyone should turn in their guns. Better mental health care? You bet. Better locking up of legal firearms in homes? Sure. But taking down the 2nd Amendment? Never.

Now Obama has issued 23 Executive Orders relating to gun ownership. This red blooded mama living in a blue state might just have to get a gun after all. However, alcohol is still out.

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