Rubio’s Drinking Problem

Like Americans who watch the Super Bowl just to see the commercials, I endured the President’s State of Delusion speech just to see the much-anticipated rebuttal given by Tea Party poster child, Marco Rubio.

Finally, conservatives have our answer to the overused but hard to defend cries of racism and bigotry.

Granted, Republicans have just appointed the first black southerner to serve in the Senate since 1881. But in the upside down world of politics, Senator Tim Scott doesn’t really count as an actual black senator – maybe two thirds, as spelled out in the Great Compromise of 1787 – because you see, Scott was appointed not elected. According to the liberal media, his appointment is still not enough to overcome Republicans’ “race problem.”

So here comes Rubio – the rising star, the savior of the Republican party and most notably, the lifeblood of the Tea Party – giving the rebuttal to Obama’s State of Delusion address. The POTUS just finished trying to convince Americans that we don’t have a spending problem, liberal policies won’t add to the deficit (that’s if you ignore the $1 trillion a year deficit under which we’re currently operating), and a $9 per hour job is the answer to all economic ills.

This rebuttal should be a slam dunk for Rubio.

Like most of my fellow conservative Americans, I sat on the edge of my seat – white knuckled, jaw clenched, waiting with anticipation to hear what the great Senator from Florida had to say. A Cuban-American raised out of poverty, living the American dream, and striving to make that dream come true for others through the advancement of conservative principles. The anticipation for his speech was palpable.

But then the unthinkable happened. Something so horrible, so disastrous, that conservatives across America watched within seconds the hopes of a 2016 presidential victory slip from our hands.

Rubio took a sip of water.

This horrifying moment sent waves across the blogosphere and lit up Twitter like a North Korean nuclear bomb test. But the scandal spreading across social media couldn’t hold a candle (or a Poland Spring water bottle for that matter) to the incredulous response by the cable news networks.

Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitas called it the “The sip of water laughed at world wide.”

Rachel Maddow instantly mocking his “big reach for the water glass.”

Chris Matthews who predictably blasted Rubio’s speech said of the water bottle, “I thought it was tinker toys.”

E.J. Dionne, one of the many Washington Post liberal columnists, delivered more of the same. “Poor Marco Rubio: It was the gulp that roared.”

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer absurdly asks, “So can a drink of water make or break a political career?”

Let’s help Wolf out, shall we?

Can admitting to eating dog meat break a political career?

Can smoking pot, but not inhaling break a political career?

Can smoking pot AND inhaling break a political career?

Can consuming 3,000 calorie meals while ordering the rest of America to layoff the soda and fries break a political career?

Our country’s economy is in the toilet, the average American shares nearly $50,000 in the national debt, North Korea is testing nuclear weapons, the Middle East is in chaos, and everywhere you look the policies and legislation driven by liberal ideology are wreaking disaster.

And yet, at the end of the day, what matters to the mainstream media is a lousy drink of water.

In all seriousness, let this be a simple but poignant lesson to my fellow conservatives:  the liberals in the main stream media and Washington see the writing on the wall. They know that their policies are hurting American families, and that the POTUS can only hide for so long before this American economic decline is pinned on him. So like snakes in the grass, the obedient media will lay low waiting to pounce on any conservative who dares to challenge their precious, progressive, poster child. It’s called the “Palinization” of conservatives. And it only happens when the left is very, very afraid of a candidate.

So when the liberal media goes ballistic over a simple sip of water, let that be a strong indication to conservatives, that we have ourselves a serious candidate.

Rubio 2016 – I’ll drink to that!

Back to top button