John Roberts has a 14th Amendment Family Dilemma

The last time a case came before the Supreme Court with the weight to “fundamentally transform” America, John Roberts surprised everyone by siding with liberals. 

Now, thanks to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, as quality and access are no longer what they used to be, 300 million Americans are at the mercy of a healthcare system that is already showing signs of corrosion.

The reason Roberts changed his mind in May, giving liberals on the court a 5-4 victory in June, remains a mystery.  Some speculate that he was attempting to save the reputation of the court. Excuse me, with all due respect, how exactly does inventing a “new definition of taxation that contravenes long-standing precedent,” and presenting an incoherently written decision preserve the status of the highest court?

Avik Roy of Forbes magazine, in an article entitled “The Inside Story on How Roberts Changed His Supreme Court Vote on Obamacare,” wrote that Chief Justice John Roberts singlehandedly:

[a]dded hundreds of billions of dollars to the federal deficit, by way of his Medicaid ruling…forever tarnished his legacy as a Justice, and his promise to the nation that he would serve as an umpire, and ‘remember that it’s my job to call balls and strikes, and not to pitch or bat.’

After his vote on the Affordable Care Act, to say that John Roberts is an unstable factor in whether marriage will be preserved as an institution between one man and one woman is an understatement.

When the Chief Justice went all “wobbly” and voted with the liberal judges, he proved that public perception is of more concern to him than safeguarding the integrity of the Constitution, and what damage Obamacare would do to the people he hoped to impress.

Currently there are hearings on the constitutionality of California ballot proposal and state constitutional amendment Proposition 8.  Prop 8 states that “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a 1996 law that banned the “federal government from offering benefits to same-sex couples, even if they were legally married in their home state” will also be discussed.

Here’s the problem: John Roberts is now officially the weakest link.  If Roberts softened his stance on Obamacare, there’s a strong chance Proposition 8 will be overturned and same sex couples will be eligible for the benefits traditional married couples currently enjoy. After John ‘Judas’ Roberts voted ‘yea’ for Obamacare, his stamp of approval being put on same sex marriage isn’t hard to envision.

Moreover now, in addition to protecting his reputation and that of the court, Roberts has to make sure he doesn’t offend his lesbian cousin Jean Podrasky, who will be in the audience to add authenticity to the proceedings.  Cousin Jean lives in San Francisco with her partner, Grace Fasano.  Seated in the area reserved for the family and guests of the honorable Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. will be the hopefully future Mrs. and Mrs. Podrasky-Fasano (or Fasano-Podrasky), Jean’s sister, and her niece.

In the gay community Jean is becoming a celebrity in her own right. Podrasky even wrote a guest column about being related to the chief justice for the San Francisco-based National Center for Lesbian Rights. In the piece Jean wrote, “Everyone in this country has a family member who is part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community,” so that should count for something.  Jean also said, “As a Californian, I want nothing more than to marry my wonderful girlfriend. And as a tax-paying citizen, I seek basic fairness.”

Cousin Jean has shared that when Prop 8 passed in California the gay marriage ban was “such a blow.” Sorry, but most would agree that unless you’re Carson Kressley or Neil Patrick Harris, Jean’s description of the gay marriage ban could be a little more judiciously worded.

Nevertheless, Jean does believe that her cuz’ is a “smart…good man,” and with any luck, “smart and good” will outmaneuver the US Constitution.  Jean also believes Roberts “sees where the tide is going,” which is why she trusts him and millions of other Americans don’t.

It used to be that tides had nothing to do with Supreme Court decisions, especially low tides.

John Roberts proved last year that’s no longer true.  Why?  Because in the same way he was confronted by irrational beliefs concerning Obamacare, if John Roberts is challenged by family sentimentality, traditional marriage doesn’t stand a chance.

However, there is an upside! If things work out before Jean and her “wonderful girlfriend” Grace head back to the City by the Bay, maybe the judge could do the honors in Washington DC.  Then, when the Supreme Court goes into recess, Chief Justice Roberts can visit San Francisco and dance to the Indigo Girls with other guests at an authentic lesbian wedding reception.

Based on John Roberts’ horrendous decision concerning the Affordable Care Act, it’s highly unlikely he’ll disappoint the family sitting in on the hearings, two of whom, in full faith and confidence, could actually show up dressed in bridal gowns.

Two bouquets and two brides on the top of a wedding cake aside, Podrasky claims she doesn’t know what her cousin’s stance is on gay marriage, but is certain that the court, with the help of John being powerfully manipulated by her presence, will side with some of the female justices who appear sexually conflicted, and overturn Prop 8.

Either way, a decision is about to be made that will either uphold or tear down an ancient institution established by God.  Therefore, regardless of how uncharacteristic and illogical it was, if Chief Justice John Roberts was able to come through for Obama by disregarding the Commerce Clause and redefining tax, he’ll certainly have no problem coming through for his cousin Jean and her future wife when it comes to the 14th amendment.

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