Intruder Dials 911: Afraid Homeowner Might Have a Gun! [VIDEO]

Intruder Dials 911: Afraid Homeowner Might Have a Gun! [VIDEO]

A Portland, Oregon, woman arrived home on Saturday, April 6th, to find an intruder in the shower!

What happens next has Portland PD laughing, as the intruder had the gun scare. 

As ABC reported,

Timothy James Chapek, 24, had allegedly broken into a home in Portland, Ore., and was taking a shower in the house when the woman who lived there returned about 7 p.m. Monday, according to police.

Chapek leaped into the bathroom, locked the door and called 911. “I just broke into a house and the owners came home…I think they have guns,” he told the operator according to the 911 audio tapes.

He goes on to tell the operator that he has no idea where he is.

“I’m up in the hills,” he says.

Whatever the plan was, at least the intruder had good hygiene. However, the showers in jail likely won’t be as nice.

What the heck was the guy doing “up in the hills?”

The Portland homeowner called out,

“Why are you in my house taking a shower?”

The uninvited shower guest replied,

“I’m sorry…my name’s Timothy James Chapek.”

Consider the nerve it took for this man to simply break into a stranger’s home.

However, Chapek didn’t stop there. He was comfortable enough to take a shower!

Why not just fire up the BBQ and turn on a ball game.

What size bar of soap do you use to wash the balls on this guy? That’s Texas-sized soap imported from ALASKA, I hope.

Unless he was casing the home, he couldn’t possibly know the family’s schedule. At best, he grabs a few wipes and some deodorant, then raids the frig and leaves. But not Super Funk. Oh heck no.

Chapek is the guy who says, “Screw Jason! I will swim at the Friday the 13 camp whenever I want!”

The Weaponless Society

Chapek obviously doesn’t live in the delusion of an unarmed society or he wouldn’t have called the police. But what if we did?

If Chapek had no reason to worry due to a weaponless society, he would have finished his shower. Next, he would dry off, yes with a blow-dryer. Then, he would don the man’s robe, and kicked back with a brewsky, waiting for the family to get home.

Who knows, he might have even had a little “slap and tickle” with the woman of the house, as the man prepared dinner for the kids.

Thankfully, that society doesn’t exist. This Millennial was rightfully afraid. And he was extremely lucky that he broke into a home who’s people didn’t exercise their Second Amendment rights to protect themselves or their homestead.

For now, all is well in the naked city.

Chapek was eventually arrested for trespassing. If only he had been a Mexican, he likely could have beaten the rap.

But in our litigious society you just never know. Look at this homeowner who got sued:

In what might be the most egregious abuse of the court system, a home intruder filed a lawsuit against a San Francisco man after being shot.

“This is my biggest issue, our judicial system allows these people to have right to try to sue,” Joe Balistreri told KPIX 5, adding that he is now struggling with mounting legal bills. The incident happened back in March 2012 when Balistreri was spending the night at his parent’s home.

“I heard the noise coming from the front door…heard clicking, rattling of the door handle. I woke up my father, told him someone’s trying to break in your house, where’s your gun?” Balistreri told the television station. He says the home intruder entered his parent’s house through the garage. After coming face-to-face with the very tall man and fearing for his safety, Balistreri said he fired three shots.

“There was no knocking, there was no announcement, there was no nothing,” he said.

The home intruder claims he was just drunk and accidentally stumbled into the house. The judge sided with Balisteri, but the man launched a GoFundMe page to help pay for the lingering legal costs.  No charges were ever filed in case.

Stay vigilant and keep plenty of soap on hand.


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