Naked She-Pope Cites Freedom of Speech

In high school the sisters of Notre Dame de Namur taught Katie many things, none of which she seemed to draw upon as she strutted her bigoted self around half-naked handing out rubbers.

Between positioning a papier-mâché mitre on her head and getting creative with her Schick Quattro and shave gel, Katie must have lost touch with fundamental Christian ideals. Either that, or the young artiste views values such as honor and compassion as oppressive and smothering.

So instead of choosing to live the “prophetic nature of the Gospel,” Ms. O’Connor chose to artistically express herself by kicking off her knickers and blaspheming the Roman Catholic Church.

Who would have thought when teenaged Katie O’Connor was helping to transform a child with autism into a stage performer at School of Rock Boot Camp that one day this boy with special needs would be traumatized by seeing his teacher rise to infamy by taking on the pubic, oops, I mean public role of an exposed prophylactic promoter?

Moreover, who would have thought that Katherine B. O’Connor, who once said that her goal was to help children “find joy and happiness in expressing themselves through a multitude of mediums,” would find joy and happiness demeaning herself in an attempt to mock the Catholic Church?

Nonetheless, Katherine O’Connor clearly harbors disdain for Catholicism.

Consequently, Miss Katie took her right to express herself all the way to the university’s spring carnival, “Annual Anti-Gravity Downhill Derby.”  Once there, Katie topped her long list of lifetime accomplishments by catapulting her bare ass into the national spotlight and marching around an area on campus ironically known as the “cut” with offensively shaved lady parts.

As a result, campus police formally charged Katie, plus naked astronaut Robb Godshaw and another student, with second-degree “indecent exposure.”  On behalf of Ms. O’Connor and himself, Godshaw is accusing the CMU president of infringing on their First Amendment rights by censuring Katie O’Connor and, in his case, him for daring to participate in an annual School of Fine Arts tradition shod only in a pair of socks.

The president of the $60K per-semester Carnegie Mellon University, Jared Cohon, defended the art students’ rights to expression, but criticized their decision to break the law. Therefore, CMU, citing respect for artistic freedom, chose not to impose “separate disciplinary action.”

In the end, just as originally suspected, Katherine O’Connor is a veritable poster child for Disgruntled Catholic School Girl Syndrome.

Thus, the ‘She-pope of Carnegie Mellon’ is so blinded by blasphemous contempt she’s defending her right to protest the Catholic Church’s First Amendment right to freedom of religion by citing her First Amendment right to freedom of speech.

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