We are going to really have some fun with COMING OUT NOT Gay, but we need YOUR help.
Send a note to email@example.com and tell us YOUR coming out “NOT Gay” story. Let my friend Dale’s story be a beacon:
Kevin, I was at dinner with Lori…it was our 35 year anniversary. We had just left our son’s home, and visited the grandkids before heading to dinner. As the waiter came to the table, I thought to myself, “I have no interest in this man who is waiting on us, nor have I ever had the feeling that I wanted to have a male companion outside of my drinking buddies. Lori is awesome! It was then I knew I needed to come out “NOT Gay!”
What COURAGE that took!
I have known Dale since elementary school, and I had always suspected that he was NOT Gay. No forlorn looks at men or secret stashes of male porn. Nope…he dated girls, and he really dug them.
There are many stories in the naked city, men who really like chicks, and chicks who want nothing to do with other chicks!
I plan to showcase these stories for some time (actually UNTIL GAYS STOP COMING OUT!).
My job is to showcase the ridiculousness of people publicly discussing their sexuality, when it only benefits them. My sincere hope is that coming out NOT GAY makes me RIDICULOUSLY WEALTHY, so I can rub my hetero-bald head in their FACES!
I am currently working on some white papers, like Top 10 Way to Spot that you are NOT Gay!
My team of snarkologists plans to take this to the Nth degree, much as gay people (including Barack Obama) are making an issue about Jason “WhoTF” Collins, whom nobody knew except Gandalf and Dumbledor, the other two gay wizards.
Help us spread the message, and JOIN ME in showcasing your “NOT Gay” Pride! Sign up on the website, where it says you can get the newsletter. Get others you KNOW are closets “NOT Gays” to join as well.
For the truly ambitious, send us a link to your video, [firstname.lastname@example.org] saying
“Kevin Jackson inspired me to come out NOT Gay,” and we will add it to our growing collection.
The time is well overdue for the National NOT Gay Movement!