Chinese First Lady Diss or an Obama Marital Spat?

For the last five years, if Michelle Obama was in the room, her biceps, bangs, and Jason Wu commanded full attention.

As a result, Mrs. Obama has gotten used to being the belle of the ball. That’s why it may seem like the first lady decided rather than endure another uncomfortable Carla Bruni moment she’d just skip the two-day Sunnylands Obama-Xi “trust-binding” summit in Rancho Mirage, California.

It would make sense that instead of attempting to compete with China’s fetching first lady, Peng Liyuan, Michelle would choose to remain home with the kids. After all, word has it that Peng Liyuan is quite a sensation.

Xi Jinping’s wife is reportedly endowed with such a multitude of lovely attributes that if Mrs. Obama were to attend the summit, it would certainly take more than showcasing a new hairdo to steal the show.

Besides being a strikingly beautiful and stylish fashion icon, Jinping’s wife was a singing soldier, rising to the rank of major general in the People’s Liberation Army art troupe.

While in Trinidad and Tobago on Xi Jinping’s Pan-American tour, Mrs. Jinping delighted the islanders when she played two Chinese songs on the steel drums.  According to the state-run China Daily, the “First lady turns on the charm, impresses hosts…not just with her music, but also her kindness and language capability.”

More recently, Forbes magazine named Peng one of the most powerful celebrities in the world.

Steel drums, hugging kids with cancer, big bouffant hairdo – big deal!  Mrs. Obama probably wouldn’t be intimidated because she once demonstrated the Evolution of Mom Dancing with Jimmy Fallon!

Without Michelle at his side Barack will be stag. To make up for his wife’s absence, Barack can always substitute Peng Liyuan for Thalia and recreate the macho salsa moves he showed off at Fiesta Latina.

What’s surprising is that the first lady chose to sit this particular trip out.  Shelley would probably have loved to have had two whole days to compare notes with a communist first lady from a country with a one-child policy that mandates forced abortions.  Who better for Michelle “first time in my adult life” Obama to relate to?

Moreover, rumor has it that in 1989 Chinese First Lady Peng serenaded the People’s Liberation Army troops after the crackdown on democracy-seeking students in Tiananmen Square. Maybe Peng could have given Michelle a few pointers on how to persuade America’s more stubborn citizens to stop questioning her healthy-eating initiative.

If, by chance, Michelle reconsidered at the last minute due to concerns about maintaining her Queen Bee status, she could always one-up Peng by pulling out her hula-hoop and wowing the global media by demonstrating a few of her own spectacular moves.

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