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It has been revealed that the U.S. State Department may have concealed accusations of illegal behavior that include alleged sexual assaults and a possible covert drug ring.

The disclosed documents also reveal that members of Clinton’s security detail “engaged prostitutes while on official trips.”

The Diplomatic Security Service (DSS), an internal regulatory agency, implicated the State Department in a series of international wrongdoings.

Everyone knows that Hillary has been known to bang back a few cold cervezas.

During the Summit of the Americas in Colombia, she even went clubbing and tore up the dance floor doing a rowdy rhumba. Come to think of it, the former first lady also got a little wild and woolly in Pretoria, South Africa, bumping and grinding with a large woman dressed in what appears to be South African garb.

But come on people, drugs and prostitutes? Really? The only way that would be possible is if Huma Mahmood Abedin, Hillary’s right hand woman, took her Lil’ Tweeting Weiner along on some of those trips.

Either way, as hard as all this is to believe about a pillar of integrity like Hillary Clinton, the DSS did cite eight instances of misconduct that included assertions that a “State Department security official in Beirut ‘engaged in sexual assaults’ with foreign nationals hired as embassy guards.”

There was also a charge that members of Ms. Rodham Clinton’s security detail “engaged prostitutes while on official trips in foreign countries.” The report called the problem “endemic.”

DSS agents reported that they were told to back off of investigations of high-ranking State Department members.

For example, investigators claimed they were told to stop – no pun intended – “probing the case of a U.S. ambassador who was suspected of patronizing prostitutes in a public park.” It’s no secret that ‘probing’ is a favorite pastime of Bill Clinton, and public parks, as in Fort Marcy Park, hold a special place in Hillary’s heart. So in some ways the report does make sense.

Apparently, after one ambassador, who shall remain nameless, had his illicit behavior made public, sort of like Bill Clinton, the offender was permitted to return to his post. After all, why should his having “routinely ditched…his protective security detail” in order to “solicit sexual favors from prostitutes” impact an individual’s reputation or ability to continue in his or her position as a public servant?

In fairness to the former Secretary of State, there are two possible scenarios that could explain these situations away. The first is that none of this is true. Rather, the same “vast right wing conspiracy” that vindictively attempted to destroy her husband may still be harassing Hillary Clinton.

The second one is that hubby Bill “I Did Not Have Sexual Relations and I Did Not Inhale” Clinton went incognito and did double duty shielding his beloved bride from potential harm.

Therefore, Bill Clinton heading off dangerous drug dealers and prostitutes could ultimately be what exonerates Hillary Clinton’s State Department from all wrongdoing.

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