This guy has been in the Senate for like, what, three hours?
Since the budget is not a problem, the economy is back, health care is in great shape, Al-Queda is dead, and Detroit is thriving, what else is there to control?
Liberal whackjob Ed Markey has the answer. He has recommended that the Federal Government step in and issue Federal Regulations on one of America’s most pressing issues:
Roller coasters.
See, apparently a woman was not properly secured on the roller coaster, and she fell to her death. This is two deaths in a week. Time to take away roller coasters.
That makes something like two roller coaster related fatalities this year. It could be as many as three though, and I don’t want to understate the danger.
Approximately 50 people have been killed in the last 30-40 years on roller coasters at amusement parks.
These are our neighbors, fathers, mothers, friends, and non-aborted fetuses (fetii?).
These are potential taxpayers who flailed to their doom from unspeakable heights in search of a thrill.
Something must be done.
35 days ago, Barack Obama could have been that woman.
There is a .0000000001% chance you could be next.
Let’s unite for the common good.
The following video is from one of my hometown news stations, WAVY TV-10. Their slogan is “10 on your side”. Pay careful attention to the lament that there are “no federal regulations”, and the stressing of the idea that the park was operating under an old law until their investigation. Thank God the media got involved, now the park will inspect itself twice instead of once per season. You can all sleep easy now folks, the scourge of annually-inspected amusements is over. Biannual rights for all!
