A Backroom Bisexual Visibility Day

In keeping with its reputation for transparency, the inordinately sex-focused White House, rather than concentrating fully on fixing the dilapidated website they’ve saddled the nation with, chose instead to help bisexuals be visible by holding a secretive “Bisexual Visibility Day.”

The Obama administration’s Office of Public Engagement covertly invited poly/omni/pan/bi-sexual activists to attend top-secret roundtable discussions.

According to the Washington Post, after finally making up their minds to attend, the sexually conflicted attendees ‘came out’ to the clandestine sessions to talk about the concerns that people who swing both ways feel are both significant and insignificant.

What was not reported was whether or not the bisexuals were too conflicted to agree upon what was noteworthy to discuss, or whether both a hot and a cold buffet were served.

Luigi Ferrer, program and grants development director for Florida’s Pridelines Youth Services, received his invitation last month, probably right around the time Stage IV cancer victim Edie Littlefield Sundby found out she was being kicked off her insurance.

Nevertheless, Luigi said, “There really hasn’t been a strong national organization speaking out for bisexuals.”  According to Mr. Ferrer, not having a “strong national [bisexual] organization” leaves those who can’t make up their minds “out of important policy conversations,” which, quite frankly, is probably a good idea.

Nonetheless, Luigi Ferrer is relieved that people who are attracted to all gender identities are finally able to bring their input, or if they prefer, output, to the policy table.

With all due respect to Luigi, LGBT and heterosexual policymakers have already covered all the bases. Interjecting the views of a community that sometimes leans one way and other times the other would likely be redundant.

That’s why, if President Obama has a hankering to seek feedback from another whatever sexual group, someone should tell him that the White House is long overdue for an Asexual Distinguishability Day.

Either way, as the volatile Middle East teeters on the edge of war, Michael Cole-Schwartz, spokesman for Human Rights Campaign in Washington, laid accolades at the feet of an administration that certainly has its priorities in order.

Mr. Cole-Schwartz gushed, “It’s a testament to this administration that they are focusing on all elements of the LGBT community and they should be applauded for hosting an event focused on some of the specific issues impacting bisexual people.”

So there you have it: in keeping with the bisexual tendency to be ambivalent and non-specific, the über sensitive Obama White House invited bisexuals to surreptitiously come out and make their voices heard at a top-secret visibility day.

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