Fifty Shades of Drivvel

As if American culture hasn’t suffered enough, “Fifty Shades of Gray” is in the theaters, released just before Valentine’s Day.

Nothing says, “I love you” like a movie that glorifies domestic violence, and features a filthy rich narcissist abuser.

As one of our Tweeps wrote,

Fifty Shades of Grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer it would be an episode of Criminal Minds.

Not having seen it myself, I can only go on reviews, which aren’t good.

Apparently the dialogue is pathetic and the lead actress bites her lip so frequently that one reviewer begs that she be given a “chap-stick.”

Another reviewer said it was “two hours of complete drivel” and “the worst movie I have ever seen.”

In order to titillate fan to see Fifty Shade of Grey, fans were promised lashings — literally.

Passion and piping hot sex from this adaptation of the multi-million-selling erotic novel by E.L. James.

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According to the propagandists for the film,

A film that captures the moment and goes on to become something that women will love for ever. It lodges in the heart as a five-star classic, a four-hankie weepie, an unforgettable experience for the audience.

Fifty Shades Of Yawn perhaps, as despite the hype and the sex scenes filmed in full-screen “spanktravision,” the most anticipated release of the year has been described as a spanking great bore.

From what I heard, the book isn’t much better, but benefitted from the hype of a few frustrated Leftist feminists.

 

 

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