Got a real hatred for someone? Covet someone else’s booty? Been slighted by your boss, bank, butcher, baron, boyfriend, babe? Tired of the daily slog of honest work? Is your Uncle Vinnie unavailable to help because he’s confined to a gated community?
Wanna live the life of a rich slave and get hundreds of thousands in welfare by way of taxpayer-funded housing, disability, medical, and have an EBT card that can get you party funds? You want to sell drugs with the thugs and get away with murder?
Here’s how. Sell your soul to the Democratic Crime Party. Join Obama’s newest quest for permanent power: Join Liberal Untouchables.
You too can thrive in the Progressive world like Former AG Eric Holder. Start a gun-running business to the drug cartels in Mexico! Then sit back and rake in the dough as they murder U.S. border guards and American tourists with their newly-gifted automatic weapons.
You won’t get arrested.
Crime is even more profitable with new AG Loretta Lynch. She recently gave retired 5th Amendment-pleading Lois Lerner a Get Out of Jail Free card! As hotel billionaire, Leona Helmsley famously said, “Only Tea Party peons pay taxes” or something to that effect. Instead of pleading the 5th, you’ll be drinking all the fifths you want. Bring on the Dom Perignon and Beluga caviar!
Trending: 15 Arrested in GA Over Vote Count
Just in case you’re subject to an act of G0d—an earthquake, lightning strike or a failure to pay off a progressive pol for your government goodies—you could find yourself indicted!
Why bother pleading the 5th, when you can just pay the vig and principal, hire Lawyer Lanny Davis and watch your case go all the way to the Supreme Court. It’ll cost you, but one sentence from B. Hussein will signal a thumbs up to The Supremies and you’ll be scot free.
It won’t be too long before President Obama gives you a tax-payer subsidy to build a hot air—I mean— wind farm that you can bankrupt. After screwing it up, and stiffing your suppliers by going bankrupt—in about a year, you walk away with a cool half billion dollars! Doubt me? Google Solyndra.
You might decide to join the Democrat Crime Syndicate and run for office. After losing a primary to the eventual president, you might take a job as Secretary of State, leave to join your family extortion racket, and then re-emerge as viable presidential candidate.
This after allowing four of your employees to die, in retaliation for you killing Africans. You’ll have power to destroy vast swaths of Northern Africa, the Mideast and all the allies you desire. Maneuver long-time leaders like Ghaddafi of Libya and Mubarak of Egypt into death or jail. You can bring on the very terrorists who attacked us on 9/11 to run things your way. Heck, you can even send weapons to terrorists in Syria to annihilate another leader you don’t like.
Think of the power you possess in America, when you can kill Africans, home and abroad and nobody says a word. It’s good to be UNTOUCHABLE!
The Supreme Court, Justice Department, IRS, military, Congress, health industry and media are all on board. There’s only one pillar remaining that could muddy the waters. Will the FBI decide that justice should be applied to everyone, including the lecherous Leftist elite?