A Tribute to Real Men and Our Balls

There is the constant droning by feminists like Hillary Clinton about how difficult it is to be a woman. The fact is, if the world were 100 percent women, feminists like Hillary Clinton would find another excuse for their failures.

Frankly, for me, the Women’s Movement is over. Like I have done with Liberal blacks whining all the time about oppression in America, I disregard the cries and lies of the feminists.

Feminists know it’s far tougher being a man, that is a real man.


It begins for men, when as the saying goes: “your balls drop.” Yes, puberty. I’d like to see women deal with having their genitalia hanging between their legs, instead of tucked neatly at the top. Try having two delicate nuts, cushioned only occasionally by a banana, all just hanging there facing the elements: toddlers, bike rails, and a multitude of other “ball busters” just waiting for their shot.

I know this; if women had balls, there would be no skinny jeans! Skinny jeans are for metrosexual Liberal men who have no nuts to tuck, Barack Obama!

And until women have suffered the embarrassment of pubescent teen boys of being called to the chalkboard at the most inopportune time, don’t talk to me about “women’s issues.” Men have issues too, and there are no baby-killer clinics for men to deal with them.

Men have societal influences, as well. Muscle and Fitness, GQ, and the host of other men’s magazines put pressure on men to have big muscles and washboard abs. And when we fail to achieve Adonis status, we own it. We can’t hide behind “baby weight!” Nope. Real men get fat…simple! We don’t walk around saying things like, “I’m BLOATED!” or “It’s just ‘water weight!'” As one of my less chiseled friends said, when I commented on his ample gut:

“My daddy always told me to keep a shed over my tools!”


Men don’t blame our “sore boobs” for not running. Big deal that breasts jiggle when you run; what do you think nuts do? All women don’t have big breast, but all men have balls. And trust me, no matter the size, they hurt when they jiggle. Yet, you’ve never heard a man make the excuse, “My balls are sore!”

And unlike women, OUR PERIODS are not an excuse for not going to the gym. Oh you read that right…men do get periods. We just bleed on the INSIDE; from our balls!

If men are moody or pensive, there is no, “It’s that time of the month, that’s why I’m psycho!” We just deal with the consequences of our moods, and don’t blame biology or anything else. There’s no, “It’s just my hormones, and there is nothing I can do about it.” We don’t transfer our psychosis to everybody around us, we just battle through. So what if feminists call us, “insensitive assholes.” Take it like a man!

Men take daily beatings from every direction, and we do what men do.  We “MAN UP!” because there is no other alternative for the real man. When we are attacked, which is like Democrats vote–early and often–we don’t stand in front of a mirror and sob, then call it a “cleansing.” No, my friends, a man who would do that is no man, but instead a pansy, aka the Liberal metrosexual.

Real men get up every day and handle their business. A real man may not have gotten laid in a year, because he was tricked into marriage by a feminist shrew. But this warrior will rise to face the pains of the day, knowing what the night brings–sleeping next to a woman colder than polar bear dung. Nevertheless, this man will take care of his kids, even his rebellious daughter (spoiled by Mom) growing up to date the “bad boy” or joining “Occupy Wall Street.”

Here’s the simple truth: Feminists couldn’t handle being men. Despite their grotesque personalities, usually matched by mannish looks, feminists just don’t have the balls to be a real man. You won’t hear anybody tell a young girl who’s crying after not getting picked to be a cheerleader to “Grow a pair!” and I’m not talking breasts!

Copy */
Back to top button