Hilarious: DNC Schedule of Convention Events

I’m not going to the DNC Convention, but I was sent an email regarding the event.

Apparently this is the DNC Convention Schedule for 2016.

Monday, July 25, 2016

11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention
Forms for Food Stamp enrollment and free cellphones distributed

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1:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Illegal Immigrants.
Fifteen different language interpreters to assist

3:15 PM
Address on “Being the Real You”
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and
Caitlyn Jenner

4:30 PM
“How to Bank $200 Million as a
Public Servant and claim to be broke”
Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM
How to have a successful career
Without ever having a job, and
Still avoid paying taxes!
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

5:00 PM
Medals of Freedom presentation to
Army deserter Bo Bergdahl
For serving with Honor and Distinction
National Security Advisor Susan Rice

5:30 PM
Invitation-Only Autograph Session
Souvenir photographs of Hillary and
Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia
Credit: Trusted liberal media-approved photographers

6:30 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters,
And on using the terminology
“Alternative Shoppers” instead of “Looters”
Thousands of BLM demonstrators to assist you in proper pronunciation

7:30 PM
Breakout session with Bill Clinton
For women on avoiding the upcoming draft
Enrollment forms for 2017 internships will be available

8:30 PM
The White House “Semantics” Committee Meeting
General vote on re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as
“Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance”
Various liberal media talking heads to demonstrate

9:00 PM
“Liberal Bias in Media” How we can make it work for you!
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS,
The Washington Post and the New York Times
With Guest Speaker, Brian Williams

9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters
Still incarcerated at GITMO
Michael Moore

9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar –
“Businesses Don’t Create Jobs”
Special guest, Princess Lie-awatha
a/k/a Elizabeth Warren, author of
“You Didn’t Built That”

11:00 PM
Short film, “Setting Up Your Own Illegal
Email Server While Serving in a
Cabinet Post and How to Pretend
It’s No Big Deal”
Hosted by Hillary Clinton

11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Hillary
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews

 

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