The age old question: Why did the chicken cross the road? As we say in my family, “Don’t say ‘chicken,’ unless you got some, Colonel!”
Well the chicken’s road crossing is indeed a matter of perspective, as all points of view must be considered. Below are answers given by what we are told are the brightest minds among us today. They answer, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
First, the Republicans:
DONALD TRUMP:
We will build a huge wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.
CARLY FIORINA:
Hillary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.
RAND PAUL:
It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.
CHRIS CHRISTIE:
We need to water board that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.
BEN CARSON:
This isn’t brain surgery. Not to look for pyramids …. it wanted grain.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
SARAH PALIN:
The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!
Democrats answers on “Why the chicken crossed the road?”
JOHN KERRY:
We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.
NANCY PELOSI:
We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.
BRIAN WILLIAMS:
I crossed the road with the chicken.
BARACK OBAMA:
Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
HILLARY CLINTON:
What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken.
BERNIE SANDERS:
That little chicken will pay 90% income taxes no matter what side of the road it’s on. He’s got to help finance free college even for those that just want a four year vacation.
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all these chickens white?
