Michael Cohen Delays Testimony: Can’t Remember Where He Put It

Robert Mueller may be too stupid to realize how bad Cohen makes him look.

I’m amazed that Mueller continues to use Cohen to go after President Trump. Talk about having a real “tool” in your toolbox.

Cohen was set to testify against Trump in February, but now he’s delaying it. The reason is laughable.

According to NBC,

President Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, on Wednesday postponed his plan to testify before Congress in February because of concerns about his family’s safety, Cohen’s adviser Lanny Davis said.

Davis cited “ongoing threats” to Cohen’s family from Trump and the president’s current personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, in the decision to delay his appearance before the House Oversight and Reform Committee, where he was expected to talk at length about the president.

That voluntary Feb. 7 appearance is a month before Cohen is due to begin serving a three-year prison sentence for multiple crimes, some of which relate to Trump.

It is now not clear when — or even if — Cohen would be willing or able to testify anytime soon, given that looming sentence.

What’s changed to make Cohen unwilling or unable to testify as NBC reports? Absolutely nothing.

And speaking of nothing, that’s exactly what Cohen offers in his proposed testimony.

In other words, when it comes to Cohen’s testimony, the dog ate his homework.

I found a list of ten best excuses kids give when missing an assignment:

1. I got my backpack stolen:

2. My mom and dad got in a huge fight last night and the cops came and I couldn’t concentrate on the assignment:

3. I stayed at my dad’s this weekend and left it there and my mom refuses to let me go back and get it:

4. I left my binder in my mom’s car and she’s at work across town:

5. I was really sick yesterday and unable to do anything.The only reason I came is because I didn’t want to miss any more work:

6. It’s that “time of the month”: If you’re a boy, don’t try this. This only works for females on male teachers.

7. Grandma died:

8. My dog died and I was too upset to do my homework:

9. I had to take care of my baby sister who was up last night throwing up:

Number 10 is my favorite, and one Cohen dare not use.

10. Tell the truth: This is a revolutionary excuse. Often if you just go to your teacher in the morning and tell him or her the truth, you’ll get some additional time.

Mueller’s targeting of Cohen was unwarranted. But Cohen’s behavior since hasn’t helped either man. Just how much more ridiculous can things get?

The pre-dawn raid of Roger Stone provides some insights.

Because this raid was a monumental screw up of 2016 President Election loss proportion. Why? The public won’t buy it.

As I wrote recently,

So who is Roger Stone?

According to the Wall Street Journal, Stone and Trump were BFFs:

Roger Stone, a former Trump campaign adviser who was indicted Thursday by special counsel Robert Mueller, has had a relationship with the president for four decades.

While Mr. Stone never had an official White House role, the political strategist played a key part in getting Paul Manafort—his former business partner—to run Mr. Trump’s campaign for a time in 2016, according to people on the campaign and Mr. Manafort himself. Mr. Manafort was charged and convicted of several crimes relating to his work for pro-Russian politicians and is awaiting sentencing.

So Stone knew Trump, but had no official role in the White House or the campaign.

I’m not sure of the dots, but a few are missing in this “four decades” long relationship. If it’s based on Manafort, then what’s the big deal.

Mueller tried to connect Manafort-Trump-Russians, and failed. Mueller could have five lifetimes, and he will never make a case against Trump for Russian collusion or anything else for that matter.

So, Roger Stone is a nobody in the Trump-Russian collusion story. But Cohen represented the best way to get Trump and that’s failed now three times.

Mueller tries his best, but his desperation shows like Rosie O’Donnell’s five o’clock shadow.

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