Everything gets polled these days.
Seriously, pollsters would ask a focus group if toast lands butter-side down more often than not — and some bread company would run with “anti-gravity butter technology.”
Imagine the headlines:
- “92% of Americans Think Mondays Should Be Canceled”
- “57% Believe Pineapple Belongs on Pizza, 43% Willingly Enter Witness Protection to Avoid It”
- “67% of Millennials Have Strong Opinions About the Right Way to Eat a KitKat Bar” (Hint: It’s never by taking a giant bite across all four bars).
And let’s not forget the truly groundbreaking surveys:
- “85% Agree Their Dog Is Smarter Than Most People They Know.”
- “39% of Adults Say They’d Live on Mars if It Had Wi-Fi.”
- “73% Think Their Childhood Bedtime Was a Government Conspiracy.”
So yeah, if you told pollsters your grandma’s chicken soup cures the common cold, you’d have Big Pharma scrambling to slap a patent on her stockpot faster than you could say “secret family recipe.” And honestly, who’s to say they’re wrong? After all, 98% of people believe grandma always knows best.
In business, polling is practical — it’s there to make sure the ship is sailing in the right direction. Companies need real data because they’re accountable. If they screw up, you stop buying their products. Simple, right? In politics, though, polling is a completely different animal. There’s no accountability, no repercussions, just smoke, mirrors, and whatever narrative the powers that be want to push.
As we used to say in programming: junk in, junk out. Feed bad data into a system, and what you’ll get out is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Polling as Propaganda
When your “product” is self-preservation — like in government — you don’t need polls to be accurate. You just need them to sound good. Leftist governments have turned polling into an art form, using it to justify growing bureaucracies and perpetuating policies most Americans don’t even want.
Think about it: when’s the last time you heard about a government agency getting smaller? Never. The IRS grows. The EPA grows. Even the Postal Service, which delivers your mail slower than your grandma on a moped, is somehow “expanding operations.”
Why? Because in the world of government, growth equals survival. Shrink, and your budget shrinks. Shrink too much, and suddenly people realize they don’t actually need you. So, what does government do? They fund studies — using your tax dollars, of course — that conveniently “prove” they’re absolutely essential.
Crazy Polls: When Data Meets Delusion
Let’s talk about some of the polls Democrats trot out to justify their lunacy.
Take the border, for instance. A 2023 Gallup poll showed 81% of Americans support increased border security, with 64% favoring stricter enforcement of immigration laws. That’s bipartisan consensus! But what did the Biden administration do? They doubled down on open-border policies. Mayorkas even went on TV and told us, with a straight face, “The border is secure.” Really? Secure for whom — Amazon packages?
Or how about the poll that claimed Americans wanted student loan forgiveness? That’s another gem. Sure, some Americans want it — namely, the ones holding the loans. But what about the 65% of Americans without college debt? Polls showed they opposed the plan, yet Biden went ahead with it anyway. Why? Because the polls weren’t about public opinion; they were about creating a narrative to justify bad policy.
When Polls Get It Horribly Wrong
Now, some polls aren’t just misleading — they’re laugh-out-loud wrong. Remember Professor Alan Lichtman? The so-called “election prediction guru”? This guy had the audacity to predict a Kamala Harris landslide in 2020. Kamala couldn’t win a popularity contest in her own party, let alone Iowa, where Trump crushed her hypothetical run by double digits. Lichtman’s response? “I need to review my methodology.” No kidding, professor. Maybe start by polling someone who’s been outside your academic bubble in the past decade.
And don’t even get me started on the polls around COVID. We were told, “Everyone trusts Dr. Fauci!” Really? Because the polling I saw said a growing number of Americans wouldn’t trust Fauci to run a lemonade stand, let alone national health policy.
The “Experts” We’re Told to Trust
Polling is just one piece of the puzzle. The other half is the so-called experts who are rolled out to lend credibility to bad policies. Fauci, Mueller, Comey — these guys were marketed like rock stars. Fauci was the “nation’s doctor.” Mueller was the “epitome of justice.” Comey? “The last honest man in Washington.”
But were they? Fauci’s COVID guidance flipped more often than a politician on Election Day. Mueller’s investigation was a political circus with no elephants, just clowns. And Comey? The guy ran the FBI like it was the Clinton Global Initiative.
The Psyops of Polling
Polling isn’t just about lying; it’s about manipulation. It’s a psyop — a psychological operation designed to make you believe what they want you to believe.
Take COVID and the vaccines. Early polls told us Americans were lining up to get vaccinated. But dig a little deeper, and you’d find a significant portion of the population was hesitant. So, what did the government do? They didn’t address the hesitancy with transparency or data. No, they rolled out ad campaigns featuring TikTok dancers and donut giveaways. Because nothing screams “scientific credibility” like free Krispy Kremes.
The Battle Ahead
Now, as Trump gears up for 2024, you can bet the polling narrative will shift again. Pollsters will claim Americans want more of Biden’s policies, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. They’ll try to convince you that inflation is “transitory,” the economy is “strong,” and the border is “secure.”
But here’s the kicker: Trump’s policies solve real problems in a world fueled by Leftist chaos. He’s about results, not narratives. And the polls? Well, they’re about as trustworthy as a three-card monte dealer in Times Square.
Final Thought
So, here’s my advice: keep a skeptical eye on polls. Remember, they’re not about informing you—they’re about influencing you. And the next time you see a poll claiming 90% of Americans want [insert insane policy here], ask yourself: “Who funded this, and what are they trying to sell me?”
Because in the end, polls don’t reflect reality. They shape it. And if we’re not careful, we’ll find ourselves living in a world designed not by truth, but by lies wrapped in the veneer of “data.”
References
- Border security polling: Gallup Poll on Border Security
- COVID vaccine hesitancy: KFF Vaccine Hesitancy Report
- Student loan forgiveness polling: Pew Research on Student Debt
- Kamala Harris polls: Iowa Election Results and Analysis
