On my radio show I recently discussed the one proven method to get a Leftist to talk to you and not run away. And the show got so much positive feedback, I wanted to write up the process in an effort to help many other learn my technique.
At some point I will likely make this series available in video form or do seminars, depending on how well-received the information is.
My first lesson involves President Trump closing the border. And here is how I would engage with a Leftist idiot about the border.
Why should a nation have borders? Borders are such an outdated concept. Walls, checkpoints, passports… honestly it all feels very “country-ish.”
We should evolve beyond that. We’re global citizens now. If somebody from Venezuela wants to walk through Texas at three in the morning carrying two duffel bags full of dope and no identification, what business of it is ours? And who are we to judge his journey.
Honestly, once you really think about it, borders are kind of offensive. Just invisible lines drawn by dead people who apparently woke up one day and said, “THIS dirt is ours.” Based on what? Planting a flag? That’s basically aggressive landscaping.
The whole idea of “illegal immigration” sounds so judgmental. Human beings aren’t illegal. Movement is natural. Birds migrate. Fish migrate. College kids migrate back into their parents’ basements after graduation. Nature clearly wants freedom of movement.
So yes, let everybody in. In fact, not just “let.” Encourage it. Advertise it. Put up giant glowing billboards at the border that say, “Come on in, America has snacks.”
Because who are we to deny people access to opportunity? If somebody wants to come here for a better life, how selfish are we to say no? Especially when we have so much. We’ve got extra bedrooms, extra food, extra money, extra everything. Have you seen Costco? America stores mayonnaise in industrial drums. Clearly, we’re hoarding.
And honestly, if borders are immoral barriers, we should probably rethink all barriers. I mean… why stop at countries?
Neighborhoods are just smaller borders. Fences are borders. Gated communities are borders with shrubbery.
Apartment doors are vertical border walls with peepholes.
So really, if we’re morally consistent, locks should probably be illegal. Because what is a lock, philosophically speaking, other than a tiny racist border patrol agent attached to your doorknob?
Think about how many problems we could solve overnight.
Homelessness? Gone.
Hungry people? Fed.
Cold people? Warm.
Lonely people? Suddenly sleeping in your guest room eating your Pop-Tarts while watching Netflix under your account because passwords are exclusionary.
And if somebody says, “Well, I don’t want strangers wandering into my house,” that sounds dangerously close to nationalism.
No, seriously. What’s the difference?
You’re saying: “This space belongs to me, and others need permission to enter.”
That’s literally border policy with throw pillows.
And let’s not stop there. Businesses shouldn’t have borders either. Stores locking up products is economic xenophobia. Why should toothpaste have citizenship requirements? Walgreens has eighteen shelves of shampoo. Clearly they don’t need that many.
If someone needs diapers, they should take diapers.
If someone needs a television, they should take a television.
If someone needs a flat-screen and an Xbox and three ribeye steaks and a Roomba, they should have those things.
Honestly, inventory itself feels oppressive.
And banks? Don’t even get me started.
“This is MY money.” Excuse me? That sounds incredibly territorial. Currency should flow freely, just like people. Your checking account is basically a gated community for presidents on paper.
See, this is what compassion looks like when you commit to it.
No borders.
No locks.
No ownership.
No trespassing.
No exclusion.
No enforcement.
Just one beautiful human family wandering freely from place to place carrying other people’s televisions in the spirit of equity.
And yes, occasionally somebody dangerous might enter your home.
But crime happens anyway, right? You can’t let isolated incidents of mayhem shape policy.
If a stranger breaks into your house at 2 a.m., you need to check your privilege. Maybe HE needed your house more than you did.
Honestly, calling the police creates another border. An emotional border. This may be the worst kind of border.
And prisons? Those are just borders for good people in bad circumstances.
At some point we really have to ask ourselves: who are we to deny anyone access to anything?
Food. Homes. Cars. Jobs. Money. Bodies.
Wi-Fi passwords.
Everything should belong to everyone equally.
And what of the excuse, “Eventually nobody would work”?
Because if all goods are shared equally regardless of effort, incentives disappear. Farmers stop farming. Builders stop building. Truckers stop trucking. Doctors stop doctoring. Amazon packages stop appearing on porches like cardboard miracles summoned by Jeff Bezos wizardry.
But that’s okay. I have the answer.
The government will provide.
Now, granted, the government only has resources because productive people create taxable wealth in a functioning society with borders, laws, incentives, and private property. But let’s not get bogged down in technicalities.
