Helping Illegals Earn Their Keep

Recently while having my paws pampered at a local nail salon I realized that all the workers, were able to calculate the cost of a mani-pedi down to the penny and give accurate change for a $20 bill.

The manicurists could readily comprehend the word ‘tip,’ but wouldn’t you know, beyond that were unable to speak a word of English!

One male salon worker, while painting American flags on the toenails of a plus-sized woman, proudly passed around an IPhone with pictures of his smiling illegal family members who recently arrived en masse from communist China.

Since Barack Obama became the official defender of all things illegal, the people we’ve been told live furtively in the shadows have burst out into broad daylight. At least where I live, it’s those shadow people who are meting out all the Mesclun salad at local bistros.

Moreover, thanks to the extreme change in demographics, most people are unable to ignore the landscapers perched on riding mowers driving down the middle of many of America’s suburban streets.

There are also many, many ‘hard-working’ restaurant busboys and van loads of Latino types standing around every morning at Home Depot begging to be chosen as $100-a-day laborers.

Our public school classrooms are full of ESL students, many of whom wear burqas. In our supermarkets the majority of produce workers manhandling the cantaloupes respond by saying “no hablo Inglés” when asked where the Café Bustelo is.

While not every foreigner in our midst is illegal, too many are.  If there weren’t, why would liberals be pushing so hard to grant amnesty to anywhere from 11 to 30 million illegals?

And here Americans thought hiring or harboring an illegal alien was against the law. Remember “Nannygate?” How about Linda Chavez withdrawing from consideration for the position of President G.W. Bush’s secretary of labor after it was revealed that she granted safe haven to an illegal immigrant from Guatemala?

Even still, except for a few examples on the right, the real culprits that have assisted in the unlawful invasion are liberals who notoriously flout the 1999 law that prohibits “knowingly assist[ing] illegal aliens due to personal convictions.” After all, isn’t it liberal personal conviction that drives all left-leaning policies, especially the DREAMers-are-good/Americans-are-nasty-xenophobes movement that’s currently afoot in America?

Liberal touchy-feely personal conviction is why Americans living in an English-speaking country are the ones who have to “press one for English.” Lefty bleeding hearts are why the  President is more concerned about people being unfairly asked for ID in Arizona ice cream parlors than he is about drug dealers and terrorists infiltrating our nation’s borders.

The argument from the left is that in addition to being cruel and inhumane, other than driving them to the polls, it is impossible to round up millions of illegals and send them back from whence they came. More importantly, the contention is that deporting illegals would grossly impact the American economy in a negative direction, which proves to the naysayers that illegals are working.

With that in mind, and seeing how it’s still illegal for Americans to hire illegals, but just fine for illegals to live and oftentimes work in America illegally, maybe to ease the pain of being choked by gatecrashers, Americans should come up with a workable plan.

How about this?

If Americans continue to be forced to shoulder the expense of illegal immigration, then maybe it would help quell America’s anger if the intruders earned their keep.

How about illegals reimburse American taxpayers by polishing nails, washing dishes, and cutting our lawns for free?

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