In Syria, Urkel and Lurch Plan to Wage a ‘Cojones Campaign’

Syria

Remember when Joe Lockhart, a senior strategist in John Kerry’s presidential campaign, said the Democrats “can swagger and chew gum at the same time?”

Well now it looks like those swaggering Democrat peaceniks plan to bomb Syria in an effort to prove their ability to multitask, and the gum they’ll be chewing is Nicorette.

That’s right – Barack Obama is hiking up his mom jeans, adjusting his bicycle helmet, and preparing to act all macho in order to get America to view him as something other than what he is: President Urkel.

And to assist in the effort, Urkel is asking Secretary of State John ‘Lurch’ Kerry to assist him. In fact, the Syrian situation has become so dire that to address the crisis, Secretary of State John Kerry has actually been forced to put down his Heinz ketchup and cancel his windsurfing plans.

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According to China and President Bashar al-Assad’s ally Russia, community organizing rebels are the ones who staged the attack to make it look like the government did it in hopes of provoking intervention. Urkel and Lurch emphatically disagree…

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