You’ve Gotta Be Kidding: You Pick the True Story

Recently I and comedian friends of mine on my Reparations Comedy Tour were to be on Sean Hannity’s radio show doing a segment called, “You’ve Gotta be Kidding Me!”

The segment was canceled due to the cop shooting in Chicago, as death by cop trumps just about anything in the news cycle. Because as we all know by now, only #BlackLivesMatter.

The way the segment works is that each of the comedians would present a story, and the radio audience has to determine which story is totally true, as the other two stories are based in truth, but ultimately NOT true.

So without using Google, select the story you believe to be completely true, and comment.


LOUIS MO, The #BlackLivesMatter movement has declared Black Friday, National Blackout Day, vowing to shut down area Wal-Marts in protest of the biggest shopping day, being deemed Black Friday.

The group’s spokesman, JaVon McVeigh commented, “In America, Black Friday is a slap in the face to black people who lack jobs and are forced to watch white privilege play out as white people spend money lavishly.”

It is estimated that on Black Friday shopper in America will spend almost $1 trillion, which the group claims is problematic. Further demands from #Black Lives Matter were:

  • African-Americans who have jobs should not have to work on Friday
  • African-Americans willing to work on Fridays should be paid double time, and a full workday on Friday should be 4 hours.

Along with 47 African-America organizations that support this initiative, the restaurant chain Friday’s has agreed to be the signature sponsor for the events.

Wal-Mart spokesman, Brad Tinsley commented, “We are not sure why the group has singled us out for National Blackout Day. Wal-Mart offers amazing values, and our clientele is overwhelmingly African-American. We aren’t Neiman’s.”


TAMPA, FL – A Florida police deputy who was due to be honored at a Mothers Against Drunk Driving conference turned up drunk to collect his award, according to local media.

According to an internal affairs investigation, the deputy was so inebriated, he was found wandering a hotel hallway in just his underwear. He also was described as “staggeringly drunk” by a witness at the Friday night banquet, where he was set to receive the MADD accolade.

Records obtained by two Tampa TV stations show that Michael Szeliga, a deputy from neighboring Pinellas County packed a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey in his patrol car before driving across the state to the Hyatt Regency Pier 66 Hotel in Fort Lauderdale with two other deputies for a two day of training to combat drunken driving. This training was to coincide with a banquet where Szeliga was supposed to receive a MADD decoration for making more than 100 DUI arrests.


BOULDER, CO – A 6 year old kindergarten student has recently been suspended from school while celebrating his birthday party with his classmates in what some are deeming a potential overreaction by his teacher.
During the birthday party celebration the student handed out treats including “Eskimo Pies” for everyone.
At which point his teacher became indignant and publicly shamed him by stating, “It is culturally insensitive to use an indigenous people groups name as a marketing tool for a product without compensating the group”. Also, the teacher contended that it was a “racist caricature” to automatically associate Eskimos with ice.
When asked for a clarification the school principal, Margaret Whiteman, backed the teacher and stated “Inclusion and sensitivity toward victimized minority groups is the aim of our school. Until children are rid of their subconscious bigotry, and learn to self-censor the racism modeled by their parents, we will never see true progress in this Nation”.
The student who’s name is withheld because he is a minor was forced to apologize to his classmates and to voluntarily assist the cleaning crew at the local popular Indian Casino, The Moccasin. AP



About Tim Wilkins

Tim Wilkins is a 20 year veteran stand-up comedian, and TV and radio personality, who has entertained millions in venues ranging from Radio City Music Hall to chow halls in Afghanistan.

Throughout his career he has opened for legends such as; Aretha, Julio Iglesias, The Righteous Brothers, Earth Wind and Fire, comedians Bob Newhart and Dennis Miller, and many more.

He has been seen nationally on HBO, HSN, ESPN2, Fox Sports, TLC; “The Daily Buzz”, “BetterTV”, CMT’s “Next Big Comic” and Nickelodeon’s “NickMom Night Out”. He can also be heard on Sirius/XM’s comedy channels “Blue Collar Radio” and Laugh USA or his own channel on Pandora.


About Brad Stine

The New Yorker magazine stated that Brad’s “style is frantic, aggressive, and caustic, with echoes of Robin Williams, Sam Kinison, and George Carlin, and The New Yorker referred to him as “God’s Comic.”

He has been featured in the New York Times, Christian Science Monitor, Los Angeles Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today. He has been featured on HBO, Showtime, MTV, and Comedy Central, and he has appeared in numerous films, including “Poodle Springs” on HBO, Welcome to Paradise, Sarah’s Choice, Christmas With a Capital C, Persecuted, Broken, and My Many Sons.

He tours nationally on a regular basis performing in clubs, churches, and fundraisers for crisis pregnancy centers, ministries and conservative causes and candidates.


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