Cubans Witness Band Death Eating a Cracker aka Rolling Stones

The Rolling Stones (L-R) Mick Jagger, Charlie Watts, Keith Richards and Ron Wood, are pictured upon landing in Montevideo on February 15, 2016, on the eve of their presentation within the America Latina Ole Tour. AFP PHOTO / PABLO PORCIUNCULA

Holy CRAP, and I thought Congress stayed around too long! How long is too long when it comes to old rockers?! I know I’d like to see a cut-off age.

Recently the Rolling Stones played a free concert in Cuba, and you can bet the group’s jet was loaded with Depends. The aggregate age of the group was almost as old as the Castro brothers. What are they; about 95 years old each? Not the Castros…the STONES!

As for “free,” I call BS on this. I know Obama used taxpayer money to treat the Cubans to what had to be what it’s like to watch death eating a cracker, otherwise known as a Rolling Stones performance.

Look at these guys. I don’t know what people want to see, but for me, seeing these old septuagenarians play rock and roll would be like watching Janet Reno have sex with Ernest Borgnine. Translated for the Millennials: like watching Chaz Bono have sex with Whoopi Goldberg.

For years rock ‘n’ roll music had been discouraged in Cuba, as Communist leader Fidel Castro famously denounced The Beatles, and just about anything else that wasn’t sanctioned by the commies. So after lifting the band, he decides to bring the Rolling Stones?

Where’s David Bowie when you need him…that’s right, DEAD! Which is essentially where the Stones are, their deaths just haven’t registered in their brains. The most impressive thing about these guys is that they are all still ALIVE!

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Look fellas, when you get to the point where you look like four old women, it’s time to hang it up. The hair dye costs alone for the Stones is the GDP of 12 African nations!

Furthermore, if I were going to introduce Rock and Roll to 500,000 Cubans aching for it, I think I’d start with something just a bit more modern…like in the last 100 YEARS!?

And get with Jagger said to Reuters:

“We know that years back it was hard to hear our music in Cuba, but here we are playing…I also think the times are changing.”

I guess Cuba can’t come around too quickly, which is why they had the Stones play and not somebody more, dare I say, youthful and hip!

I’m actually shocked Obama didn’t sanction Jay-Z and Beyonce first, as opposed to allowing a white band to play there. To my earlier point, no sense exposing the Cuban to too much too soon. Beyonce’s X might cause a revolution!

I know there are those who will read this who are Stones fans, and I understand you. There was a time when I would have wanted to see the Stones, too. But I don’t want to watch them pee their pants, stumble over guitar licks, and prance around the stage like it’s party time at the old folks home. That’s just me.

Final point. It hasn’t gone unnoticed on me that 500,000 communists got for free what would have cost capitalist Americans at least $50 each, and as much as a thousand.


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