Israel Needs Gorillas

Liberals hate people. Likely because they are constantly around other Liberals. This is why they love animals.

As The MidEast Beast sarcastically reports,

“For years we’ve highlighted the deaths of innocent men, women, and children from these rockets, but people throughout Europe and on college campuses in the U.S. continued to support Hamas,” a spokesman for the Israeli government told The Mideast Beast. “After seeing the outpouring of anger over the death of Harambe the gorilla, we realized we’ve been doing it all wrong.”

Israel will now place a handful of gorillas in Ashdod, Ashkelon, Sderot and other communities in the south that have seen a high number of rocket attacks. While Hamas publicly insists the move won’t change its military approach, some Hamas commanders expressed concern in private conversations.

“If one of our rockets were to kill a gorilla, we would completely alienate our core support base of 18 to 22-year-old left-wing American Facebook commenters,” one senior Hamas official told The Mideast Beast off record. “That’s not a risk we can take lightly.”

Bonehead Liberals will miss the irony of the outpouring of grief for a gorilla, versus the support of the people of Israel who face attack routinely from the great unwashed horde of Palestinians.

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