The End of an Error
Let’s pour one out for Howard Stern—not because he’s dead, but because his career finally is. SiriusXM, in a rare moment of corporate clarity, decided not to renew his contract. The question isn’t why—it’s what took so damn long?
Stern hasn’t been relevant since flip phones were cutting-edge tech. Yet, like a piss smell in a sofa cushion, he lingered in the airwaves far past his welcome.
The man who built his empire on degradation—primarily of women—somehow became a darling of the #MeToo Left. The same crowd that cancels comedians for decade-old tweets once rallied behind a guy who made “Lesbian Dial-a-Date” a recurring segment.
And now, like Colbert before him, Stern is being shown the door. Not by conservative outrage, not by some MAGA-led boycott, but by the cold, hard reality of entertainment economics: If you’re not entertaining, you’re expendable.
Stern’s Legacy: Shock Without the Awe
Let’s not pretend Stern was ever some cultural titan. He was a shock jock—emphasis on shock. Because the jock part was always questionable. His brand of humor was built on two pillars:
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Degrading Women – From the “Butt Bongo Fiesta” to rating female guests on their “hotness,” Stern turned misogyny into a business model. His treatment of women wasn’t edgy—it was lazy, juvenile, and, frankly, boring. The fact that he later tried to rebrand as a woke feminist ally is like a arsonist opening a fire safety school.
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Desperate Stunts – Remember when he spent the pandemic broadcasting from his “panic room” like a Bond villain who ran out of ideas?
I will never forget his attempt to shame me for tweeting that Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers are lying skanks. Imagine a smut jock pretending to be offended at the word “skank”. The cognitive dissonance is staggering.
Stern’s entire shtick was built on pushing boundaries—until society pushed back. Then, suddenly, he was a “serious interviewer.” Please. The man who once had women wrestle in Jell-O for his amusement doesn’t get to play NPR host once the winds had shifted.
The Left’s Selective Outrage
How’s this for delicious irony: The same movement that tore down Louis C.K. for private misconduct gave Stern a pass for public degradation. Why? Because Stern kissed the ring. He went full “Trump Derangement Syndrome,” and suddenly, his past sins were forgiven.
But let’s be clear—Stern didn’t evolve. He pandered. His sudden moral awakening coincided neatly with his fading relevance, a la Colin Kaepernick. And the Left, always eager to embrace a convert (no matter how insincere), welcomed him with open arms.
Meanwhile, actual entertainers who didn’t spend the ’90s humiliating women on air were getting blacklisted for jokes they told in college. The hypocrisy is so blatant it’s almost artistic.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Stern’s exit isn’t some grand moral reckoning—it’s basic math. Colbert’s Late Show was reportedly losing $40 million a year, and Stern’s Sirius deal was rumored to be in the $90 million per year range. That’s a lot of cash for a guy whose biggest contribution to culture in the last decade was…what, exactly? Interviews with so-called A-listers who only showed up because their publicists told them to?
Sirius isn’t a charity. If Stern was pulling in subscribers, they’d keep him. But the truth is, his audience aged out. The new generation has no need for Stern’s remake.
The Future: Meritocracy Wins Again
The best part of this whole saga? No one had to “cancel” Stern. The market did it for us. Trump didn’t have to tweet about him. Conservatives didn’t need to organize a boycott. The free market—that thing Leftists claim to hate—decided Stern wasn’t worth the money.
And that’s the real lesson here: Entertainment is a meritocracy. If you’re not entertaining, you’re done. Colbert learned it. Stern’s learning it now. And the media landscape is better for it.
So farewell and fuck off, Howard. You won’t be missed.
