I’ve read some great books in my life.
The Bible. The Constitution. A few instruction manuals I eventually admitted I needed.
And now, America, Act Your Age.
Is it a masterpiece? I hesitate to say yes. Mostly because I’m waiting for the literary establishment to say it first, and those people are notoriously slow. They’re probably still trying to decide whether Shakespeare was inclusive enough.
But I will say this: America needed this book.
We live in a country where grown adults throw tantrums when somebody disagrees with them. Where politicians spend money they don’t have, make promises they can’t keep, and expect a standing ovation for creating a problem they plan to fix in the next election.
In other words, Washington operates like a daycare center—except the children at the daycare are generally better at sharing and have a more realistic understanding of money.
America, Act Your Age is my invitation to everyone to grow up. And yes, I said everyone.
Now, before my conservative friends get nervous, let me be clear: the Left has earned a starring role.
Frankly, some of these people make it hard to tell whether they need a political debate or a juice box and a nap. They’ve turned being offended into a profession, being a victim into a qualification, and avoiding responsibility into an Olympic sport.
But nobody gets a lifetime exemption from acting like an adult. Not Republicans. Not Democrats. Not independents. Not the guy who insists he’s “above politics” but still wants to tell you how to live.
If you’re alive, you have room to grow. Some of us just need a larger room.
What will you get from this book?
You’ll get a good laugh. If you’ve followed my work, you know I believe humor is one of the best ways to tell the truth. People can argue with a statistic all day. But when you hold up a mirror and make them laugh at what they see, the point has a way of sticking.
And let’s face it: American politics supplies more material than any comedian could possibly use. I didn’t create the circus. I just bought a ticket and started taking notes.
You’ll get a fresh way to look at the madness. So much of what passes for serious national discussion comes down to a remarkably simple question: Is somebody willing to behave like an adult?
Can we have a disagreement without needing an emotional support animal? Can we look at a problem without blaming everyone but ourselves? Can we tell the difference between something being difficult and something being somebody else’s responsibility?
That’s the conversation I want this book to start.
You’ll get a reminder that accountability is not a hate-crime. Actions have consequences. Choices matter. Reality does not rearrange itself because somebody gave a very passionate speech about their feelings.
I realize that last sentence may cause a few people to need a safe space. Fortunately, this book is available in a portable format. You can take it with you when you leave.
You’ll get permission to use common sense again. You don’t need a committee to tell you whether something makes sense. You don’t need to apologize for asking questions. And you certainly don’t need to pretend an obviously ridiculous idea becomes brilliant because the person delivering it has an impressive title.
Some of the smartest people I know never needed a fancy degree to recognize nonsense. They just needed eyes, ears, and enough life experience to know when somebody was trying to sell them a horse that had been “rode hard and put up wet”.
And you might even recognize yourself. I know—that sounds dangerous. Most of us prefer books that tell us we’re right about everything. This one has plenty to say about the people driving us crazy, but it also asks what each of us can do to bring a little more maturity, responsibility, and perspective to the country we share.
That applies whether you’re conservative, liberal, somewhere in the middle, or still waiting for the government to tell you where you are.
Who should read it?
You, if you’re tired of watching common sense get escorted out of the room.
Your friends, especially the ones who appreciate a good laugh with their truth.
Your relatives, particularly the ones who make Thanksgiving feel like a congressional hearing. Give them the book early enough that they have time to read it before the turkey gets cold.
Every member of Congress. I realize some might need assistance with the bigger words. We’re looking into a version with pictures and a balanced-budget exercise.
And yes, Leftists should read it, too. I’m nothing if not generous. Besides, it would be a shame to write a book about growing up and leave out so many people who could benefit from the instruction.
My final assessment
I wrote America, Act Your Age because I love this country enough to laugh at its absurdities—and enough to believe we can do better.
America has accomplished extraordinary things. We’ve faced serious challenges, solved difficult problems, and built a nation that has offered opportunity to generations of people from every background.
Surely we can manage a little adult conversation.
We can take responsibility for ourselves. We can disagree without falling apart. We can demand more from our leaders and expect more from ourselves.
And we can laugh while we do it.
So I ask again, is this book a masterpiece?
Let’s just say I’ve left room for the Nobel committee to discover it on their own.
In the meantime, get yourself a copy. Get one for a friend.
America is 250 years old. It’s time we acted like it.
