FITTING: Washington DC declared home to the world’s largest parasites

FITTING: Washington DC declared home to the world’s largest parasites

Washington D.C isn’t just a swamp, but more a sewer.

A sewer that attracts crime, drugs, violence, and now thanks to a recent study D.C attracts literal parasites as well.

In a recent article published by the Atlantic titled, “Washington, D.C., Is Home to America’s Largest Collection of Parasites,” they note their findings:

“We are walking through what, at first glance, could be mistaken for an oddly macabre Italian deli. The shelves around us are full of chaotically arrayed jars, which contain what look like formless bits of meat and coiled balls of pasta. But this is actually part of the largest collection of parasites in the country, and on closer inspection, a bundle of tagliatelle is actually a tapeworm. A tangle of capellini is actually a cluster of nematodes. “You can make a lot of food references,” says Phillips. “I try to avoid that, because it ruins food for people.”

How fitting that the study of literal parasites resembles the parasitic destruction and chaos that is Washington D.C.

The Double Study

Despite the nasty bugs, Washington D.C is known for some of the most beautiful museums, monuments and historic sights of our nations founding. But the irony doesn’t go unnoticed that the American city with the nastiest swamp creatures, is also home to some of the countries worst crime, schools, and salacious scandals.

How about this for a laugh: DC is actually built along the banks of the Potomac River on drained swampland.

In the early 1990s, DC was known as the “murder capital”, experiencing 474 homicides in 1990. And according to a study by Neighborhood Scout there are a total of 40,000 crimes committed annually in the D.C. area. Violent offenses tracked included rape, murder and non-negligent manslaughter, armed robbery, and aggravated assault, including assault with a deadly weapon.

And what of that stellar education system in the nation’s capitol?

Despite spending more than 36 of 50 states on education, Washington, D.C., still ranks nearly dead last in school system quality. According to a study from WalletHub:

“The website conducted an in-depth analysis of state school systems in all 50 states and the District of Columbia by analyzing different key metrics like standardized test scores and dropout rates.

According to the WalletHub study, the district has the highest dropout rate, the lowest math test scores, the lowest reading test scores and the lowest average SAT scores in the entire country.

SAT scores are important to future success, the analysis found, because people who have a bachelor’s degree make 65 percent more than those with just a high school diploma.”

In addition, nearly 200 teachers have quit their jobs in D.C. Public Schools since the school year began in 2017. That’s a big number when you consider that teachers don’t quit. That job is generally too easy. But not in D.C.

One student describes his classes as “chaotic.

Dwight Harris, 16, an 11th-grader, said his Algebra 2 class has been chaotic since his first teacher left in January.

“No one is teaching. It’s been like that for months now,” Harris said. “We don’t do anything, so I leave and go to my biology class or English class and go do other work.”

And if those stats aren’t enough to persuade you to believing D.C. is truly the city of parasites you can’t forget the many many sex scandals.

We have all heard of the famous sex scandals from leftist politicians like Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner. But the sexual perversions have been plaguing D.C for decades.

Take the story of Rep. Wilbur Mills.

In 1974, Mills’ political career cratered when a stripper jumped out of his car and dove into Washington’s murky Tidal Basin after police pulled Mills over. The married Mills had been cavorting with the “Argentine Firecracker” for more than a year. He would later leave Congress after being spotted in a Boston strip club.

And then there is Sen. Gary Hart.

Immediately after announcing his 1988 bid for the presidency, Hart was besieged by rumors that he was having extramarital affairs. Eventually, Miami Herald reporters staked out Hart’s residence and caught Donna Rice going in and emerging the next morning. The revelation killed Hart’s chances of winning the Democratic nomination and ended his political career.

The District of Columbia should be a shining beacon on the hill. But instead its infested with nasty bugs and even nastier people. The election of President Trump will help. But he must rid that city of lots of swamp creatures before real change will be felt.



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