Omicron Test and the Magic 8-Ball

Omicron, Covid, Kevin Jackson

Remember that 8-ball that you shook, then looked in the mirror for the answer to your question? I loved that thing.

The answer always made me feel good. It was as if the 8-ball knew me. Well, for those of you who want to get tested for Wuflu, consider me the magic 8-ball.

Instead of visiting Walgreens or wherever for a Wuflu test, just donate $20 and I will give you your test results for Wuflu or the variants.

Take the lastest variant, Xi-omicron, the “transformer” version. This version fascinates me. Because without being a medical doctor, a virologist, or an epidemiologist, I know omicron is little more than a cold.

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Yet Joe Biden implemented the racist policy of restricting multiple African countries over this latest version of the virus.

And in his latest flip-flop, he rescinded that idiotic order, and effective Jan 1, Africans are allowed back into the U.S.

Why the change?

Well, despite Fauci the Fraud’s dire warnings, omicron the autobot variant is less dangerous than the common cold.

In fact, in their zeal to further the narrative of how dangerous omicron is, the media reported that America had its first (of many!) deaths from omicron.

A man from Houston, Texas died from omicron it was reported. This is a lie. People Magazine reported the story as follows (highlights are mine):

An unvaccinated man in Houston is the first known death in the U.S. from the omicron variant of COVID-19, Texas health officials said Monday.

The man was in his 50s and had tested positive for the omicron variant before his death, officials in Harris County said. Along with being unvaccinated, he had preexisting conditions and had a previous case of COVID-19.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the patient’s family, and we extend our deepest sympathies,” Barbie Robinson, HCPH executive director, said in a press release.

Robinson emphasized the need for vaccination to prevent severe illness and death.

“This is a reminder of the severity of COVID-19 and its variants,” she said. “We urge all residents who qualify to get vaccinated and get their booster shot if they have not already.”

Death, people. It could happen to you. Especially if you are not vaccinated…AND GET HIT BY A CAR!

I don’t know how this man died, but I know that it was not from Wuflu or variants. The man died from something totally unrelated, but was tested and found to have omicron.

From The Blaze:

Importantly, Harris County public health officials did not say the man died from the Omicron variant of COVID-19. Rather, the man died after testing positive for the Omicron variant, meaning he died with it.

In fact, Martha Marquez, a spokesperson for the Harris County Public Health Department, confirmed Tuesday that health officials are not saying the man died from the Omicron variant; simply, they reported the death of a man who was Omicron-positive when he passed away.

How’s that for splitting hairs? And the government has gotten good at acting as if the sky is falling over this scamdemic.

Ca-ching for that hospital. $39,000 for merely adding a checkmark by Wuflu.

Why bother testing for Wuflu, when somebody dies of something completely unrelated? MONEY, BITCHES!

Back to testing.

So, if you get a hankering to buy a test kit, please contact me and donate $20. Below are your results presented by me in a Faucian way:

You may or may not have Wuflu or one of its variants. These tests, while highly accurate, might also provide false positives much of the time. Honestly, you are probably not sick or contagious.

That said, let’s just pretend you are positive so you can self-imprison; for the greater good. Please don’t forget to keep that worthless mask on, as a precaution. In case you come into contact with others, they will likely feel better seeing your wear that mask, and we really want people to feel safe around you.

I repeat: although you are likely not sick or contagious, we simply can’t be too careful. So let’s err on the side of public safety and health. 

Thank you for your $20.

Remember: don’t forget to get that booster, since we now know that the two-shot regimen won’t actually stop Wuflu.