Ladies and gentlemen, what a time to be alive!
Over the next four years, conservatives like me have the chance to build a whole new army of influencers. And guess what? I plan to be one of them. I mean, I was one of them — before social media treated me like a Thanksgiving turkey and carved me up.
Think about it: if Facebook and Twitter had just left me alone, I’d be living the high life right now. Millions of dollars, no corporate sponsors dictating my message — just me, my mic, and the truth. But noooo. They squashed me like I was a cockroach on Zuckerberg’s marble floors.
But here’s the kicker: now they’re paying the price. Have you seen the state of liberal media? It’s like watching a slow-motion car crash where every car is driven by Joy Reid.
Joy Reid: The Titanic of Cable News
Joy Reid, bless her heart, has lost almost half her audience since the election. “The ReidOut” went from 1.4 million viewers to just 759,000. And among that precious 25-to-54 demographic — the one demographic advertisers actually care about — she’s down 52%. Only 76,000 people in that group still tune in. To put that in perspective, more people went to Burning Man this year, and they were stuck in the mud!
But do you think she’ll change her approach? Of course not. She’s so committed to race politics, she’s like the Wile E. Coyote of cable news, chasing viewers with ACME talking points while they run off a cliff.
Rachel Maddow: $25 Million for Mondays
Then there’s Rachel Maddow, the star of MSNBC. She’s only on one night a week — Mondays — and she’s still hemorrhaging viewers. Her audience dropped 43% overall and 56% in the key demo. You’d think with fewer shows, she’d keep more viewers. Nope. She’s like a Netflix original: hyped up, overpaid, and canceled by Tuesday.
And get this: MSNBC reduced her salary from $30 million a year to $25 million. Oh no, how will she survive? Poor Rachel might have to downgrade her avocado toast. But honestly, if you’re paying $25 million for a 56% drop in viewers, you deserve to go broke.
Chris Hayes: Proof Anyone Can Fail Up
Now let’s talk about Chris Hayes, or as I like to call him, “The Guy You Even Forget Exists.” He’s lost 56% of his key demo viewers, too. He’s pulling in just 73,000 in that group. That’s fewer people than show up to a minor league baseball game on a rainy Wednesday. How does he still have a job? Is there a “Participation Trophy” department at MSNBC?
Jen Psaki: From White House Lies to Viewer Goodbyes
And then there’s Jen Psaki. You remember her — Biden’s press secretary turned MSNBC host. She’s lost 61% of her key demo viewers; 61%! That’s not a drop; that’s an extinction-level event. It’s like she’s playing Jenga with her ratings, and someone pulled out the bottom row.
Alex Wagner: The Substitute Nobody Asked For
Finally, we have Alex Wagner, who stepped into Rachel Maddow’s time slot. Big shoes to fill, right? She must’ve thought, “How bad can it be?” Well, her total viewers are down to 660,000, and her key demo viewers? 72,000. At this rate, she’ll be broadcasting to her own family by Christmas.
Opportunity Knocks
Meanwhile, conservative voices are thriving. We’ve got the momentum, the truth, and — most importantly — the audience. So, America, let’s keep this going. Check out KJRadio.com and Spreely.com. Because unlike Joy Reid, I promise to never bore you to death — or chase you off with nonsensical rants.
And remember, folks: every time MSNBC loses a viewer, an angel gets its wings.
