The FOOLPROOF Racism Self-Test

A black researcher and an Asian writer conclude that whites’ non-response to an e-mail sent by a fictitious person with a black-sounding name is a microaggression.

I read an article in that hip Leftist Bible, Huffpost, by an Asian female, Brittany Wong, about a December 2021 racism study led by researcher, Ray Block, Jr., a black male. In it the word, “Black”, was capitalized everywhere while the word, “white”, was always lowercased. As it should be because you’re automatically guilty – of what? Quod erat demonstrandum – if you’re born white.

The study included all racial groups currently in America and it revealed racial bias on the part of all whites regardless of whether they were regular citizens or politicians and regardless of their political party or geographical region. All the research subjects – except the blacks – responded differently to political request e-mails sent to them by a black-sounding name versus identical e-mails sent by a white-sounding name. Neither e-mail received a high response rate but researchers found that the black senders were 15.5% less likely to receive a response.  Block terms that non-response “microaggression”.

NEVER CALL A BLACK PERSON “ARTICULATE”

Block gives the nickname, “papercuts”, to the countless “microaggressions” visited upon black folks every day by their white brethren: “Having a co-worker who ignores your e-mails is one thing, but what if that same co-worker had made remarks about ‘how articulate’ you are during a work meeting?

I know people believe this because I once responded to a black female who irately complained on a job advice website for women that she was grievously “offended”, “hurt” and “insulted” because a white male prospective employer complimented her during a job interview on how “articulate” she was. She turned down the job offer.

Moral of this story: remember NEVER to compliment a black person on anything because if you’re white they will assume you mean that none of their race deserves that compliment or that most blacks are undeserving of that compliment.

EVEN A LIBERAL MIGHT OPT NOT TO INTERACT WITH A PERSON OF COLOR AND GO TO THE STORE INSTEAD

Block agrees with a white Yale psychologist, John Dovidio, that racism happens even “if you believe you’re liberal and good” because “there’s a cost to actually interacting with a person of color because it may threaten your self-image.” (Huh?)

He goes on to say that consciously you don’t want to turn down answering a black’s e-mail but then (subconsciously I guess?) you’ll prioritize other stuff you have to do like “go to the store”. Block found this reasoning to be “excellent” and dubs this “racial anxiety”. Block triumphantly concludes that his own e-mail study uncovers yet another area “that is a potential breeding ground for racial discrimination.

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In line with this objective study and its sagacious (and most likely foregone) conclusions, in the interests of advancing the cause of racial harmony I proffer to you, dear readers, the following for your self-improvement:

The Foolproof Self-Test for Racism

    1. Do you flush your black stools down the toilet faster than any lighter color? Yup. You’re a racist. (Those of you who have chalk white stools from gall bladder disease may skip this question.)
    2. Do you regularly buy golden raisins instead of black raisins? Shame on you. If the box is still unopened, immediately rush back to the grocery store, get a refund and buy the black raisins. From here on. Yes, I mean forever.
    3. Are any of your pets a color or colors other than solid black? (Sigh.) Take your dogs, cats, gerbils, whatever to the animal shelter and hope they’re rehomed. You say that your particular pet’s species doesn’t come in black? That’s no excuse. Either invest several million dollars in genetic experimentation to come up with a new all-black species or it’s off to the animal shelter with the miserable pet.
    4. Do you dare drizzle creamer, be it synthetic or natural, or any kind of sweetener into your coffee instead of drinking it all black? Gotcha!

Familiarize yourself with Entomology, the study of insects. (Not to be confused with Etymology which is the study of words. You needn’t concern yourself with Etymology because that in itself is a sign of white supremacy.) Entomology is important because I must teach you which cockroaches are okay to kill.

Blatella germanica, the German cockroach, ranges from tan coloration to reddish brown. The American cockroach, Periplaneta americana, although darker than Blatella germanica, is nonetheless still brown. Despite the fact that the American cockroach originated from Africa and the Middle East, you must kill them because they are not black.

The Oriental cockroach – Blatta orientalis – is black. Ah ah! Don’t you dare pick up that shoe! You know what to do.

Keep on huffin’ and puffin’ towards racial equality.

Based upon the Huffpost article – and all Leftist doctrine – I think you will understand that if you dare to be white, your life is automatically riddled with microagressions against blacks and other people of color with every breath you take. So keep on looking for things that will trigger blacks and people of color (and thereby simultaneously white Leftists).

Make this your life’s mission. Devote your life to rooting out every instance…everywhere…of insults to people of color. Keep looking for them and I guarantee you will find them. In every human action. By you and by everyone. In every syllable uttered.  Behind every blade of grass. Makes sense, huh?

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