Maury vs. Springer: Battle for the Bidens

In 1972, a frazzled woman by the name of Neilia put her two little boys in the car, along with her brand new baby girl, Naomi. They were headed to buy a Christmas tree.

Like a lot of moms in the 70s, the baby was in her lap as she headed into traffic. She drove head first into a tractor-trailer full of corn cobs. The crash sealed the fate of the Biden family.

Neilia and Naomi were laid to rest a few days later, while Beau and Hunter healed from their injuries. I’ve looked into this story many times over the past decade because it is littered with controversy.

First, it was the same week Joe Biden was sworn in as a Delaware Senator. Second, the newly pressed politician couldn’t let the tragedy of the truth be bad enough. He just had to cover it in lies. According to Biden, his wife was wiped off the face of the earth because of some drunk driver. However, in actuality, the driver of the truck, Curtis C. Dunn of Pennsylvania, was not accused of drunk driving or any wrongdoing in association with the crash. And Biden’s constant lies ruined his life, bringing Dunn much sorrow over the years.

Was it really an accident?

Adding insult to injury is the fact that many people speculate Neilia committed suicide, hoping to kill all her children as an act of post-partum depression. Who blames someone else for such an act? Biden, that’s who.

Yet, as Kevin Jackson once pointed out, would a drunk driver who killed a Senator’s wife and her newborn simply walk away with no charges? Come on man, that doesn’t even make sense. But, as I said earlier, this accident sealed the Biden’s fate. Because sleepy Joe’s twisted recollection of events made him a prime candidate for daytime TV. And we’re not talking cable news.

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Talk Show Trash

We all know daytime talk shows typically highlight the trashiest people along with the craziest situations. And the Biden’s have plenty of that.

To be fair, Neilia wasn’t Biden’s first big lie. In the late 60s, Biden cheated his way through law school. According to the Capitol Review:

“Biden is a serial cheater. He cheated in law school by presenting many pages of a law review article as his own. His professor judged his plagiarism sufficiently serious to deserve an “F.”

Biden was just getting warmed up. From that experience, he failed to learn not to cheat, and even failed to learn not to get caught.

As a politician, he copied a speech from a British politician who spoke of the adversity his ancestors had overcome in the coal mines. Biden’s own ancestors had not worked in the coal mines, but no matter.

He bragged that he graduated law school (not a particularly good one, by the way) in the top half of his class. In point of fact, he’d graduated in the bottom 10%. He also falsely claimed he’d graduated college with three degrees.

These are but a drop in the bucket for Biden. And that’s exactly what intrigued Maury Povich. Although Povich recently announced his retirement, after 30 seasons, he can’t help but want to wade off into Biden’s shady past. At the ripe old age of 83, Povich still possesses all his faculties- something our president can’t claim. Imagine if Maury had the chance to stand in front of Joe Biden and say “enough already!” As he often tells his colorful guests.

I can hear it now. “The results are in, and Mr. Biden, you are not the president.” But considering the latest Biden breakthroughs, Maury has a little competition. We’ll come back to that.

Apples and Trees

I’m a big fan of the saying “apples don’t fall far from the tree.” Too many times you can meet a family and immediately see where the younger personalities got their flair. Like another popular phrase puts it, “the sh*t rolls downhill.”

That’s definitely true for the Biden’s. And no one is more controversial that the first crackhead son of the United States. Not only does Hunter Biden take fake jobs and collect big bribes, launder money, and sell access to his father, but he also deals in hookers and drugs. Hunter continues to deny the existence of one of his children, a move his father clearly condones. Also, he stole his dead brother’s wife. Who does that? And in the latest laptop discovery, we learn the sack of excrement wasn’t even sure if he was spreading around HIV, but he knew there was a pretty big possibility. And you can bet

According to Fox:

Hunter Biden sent an email to his brother’s widow, Hallie Biden, pressuring her to get an HIV test as their relationship deteriorated in July 2018, about a month before he fathered a child with another woman.

In an email titled, “YOU NEED TO GET TESTED FOR HIV HALLIE,” obtained by Fox News Digital, Hunter demanded that Hallie get tested for HIV and inform him of the results that day. The email also accused Hallie of turning Hunter’s niece against him and called on Hallie to seek “serious long term professional help.”

“You need to inform me of the result. TODAY,” Hunter wrote at the time. “I am getting tested today. I have been sick scared Hallie and you [hang] up on me. The love you give is so disturbing.”

Enter Jerry Springer

When you add a crackhead son, a torrid affair, and an AIDS test, Jerry Springer is the logical next step. Ironically, Springer also earned a law degree in the 60s. Furthermore, he even ran for Congress, getting 45% of the vote in a Republican district. But, his career as an elected official wasn’t as cushy as Joe Biden’s. Springer stepped down from the Cincinnati’s Mayor’s seat in 1974, after he admitted to soliciting a prostitute. So it’s pretty easy to see why Springer wants to grill the Bidens on their messy personal affairs and crooked business dealings. However, after 27 seasons, the office Jerry Springer show was laid to rest and replaced with the new and improved “Judge Jerry,” where Springer is able to put his legal background back to work.

Frankly, it’s a toss-up to decide which talk show host should be first to get inside with the Bidens. I’m honestly thinking we should send all of the to the Dr. Phil house.

That being said, Povich and Springer could opt to double team the Bad Boy Bidens in a one-night-only special and then stream it for eternity. Imagine all the gaffs and gifs such a meeting of the minds would generate.


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